Seinfeld Season 1 Episode 1: "The Seinfeld Chronicles" Quotes
(to Jerry) I can't believe you want to bring in an extra bed for a woman who wants to sleep with you. Why don't you bring in an extra guy too?!George
I swear, I have absolutely no idea what women are thinking. I don't get it, okay? I I I admit, I, I'm not getting the signals. I am not getting it! Women, they're so subtle, their little everything they do is subtle. Men are not subtle, we are obvious. Women know what men want, men know what men want, what do we want? We want women, that's it! It's the only thing we know for sure, it really is. We want women. How do we get them? Oh, we don't know 'bout that, we don't know. The next step after that we have no idea. This is why you see men honking car-horns, yelling from construction sites. These are the best ideas we've had so far. The car-horn honk, is that a beauty? Have you seen men doing this? What is this? The man is in the car, the woman walks by the front of the car, he honks. E-eeehh, eehhh, eehhh! This man is out of ideas. How does it? E-e-e-eeeehhhh! "I don't think she likes me." The amazing thing is, that we still get women, don't we? Men, I mean, men are with women. You see men with women. How are men getting women, many people wonder. Let me tell you a little bit about our organization. Wherever women are, we have a man working on the situation right now. Now, he may not be our best man, okay, we have a lot of areas to cover, but someone from our staff is on the scene. That's why, I think, men get frustrated, when we see women reading articles, like "Where to meet men?" We're here, we are everywhere. We're honking our horns to serve you better.Jerry
George: Ho ho ho, "Had to"? "Had to come in"?
Jerry: Yeah, but
George: "Had to come in" and "maybe we'll get together"? "Had to" and "Maybe"?
George: Nonono, I hate to tell you this: you're not gonna see this woman.
George: Listen, your stuff has to be done by know, why don't you just see if it's dried?
Jerry: No, no, no, don't interrupt the cycle. The machine is working, it, it knows what it's doing, just let it finish.
George: You're gonna over dry it.
Jerry: You, you can't over dry.
George: Why not?
Jerry: Same as you can't over wet. You see, once something is wet, it's wet. Same thing with dead: like once you die you're dead, right? Let's say you drop dead and I shoot you: you're not gonna die again, you're already dead. You can't over die, you can't over dry.
Trust me George, no one has any interest in seeing you on caffeine.Clair
George: What, it was purple, I liked it. I don't actually recall considering the button!
Jerry: Oh you don't recall?
George: Uh no, not at this time.
Jerry: Well senator I'd just like to know what you knew and when you knew it.
If you've got a t-shirt with blood stains all over it maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem right now.Jerry
Kramer (Kessler): You got any meat?
Jerry: Meat? I don't, I don't know, go hunt!
Women know what men want,men know what men want. What do we want? We want women!Jerry
Let's face it, a date is a job interview that lasts all night. The difference between a date and job interview is not many interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end.Jerry