Cabe: Ugly shirts, khakis, and tube socks.
Sly: What is that, your bag?

I wear bifocals to read menus. It doesn't mean I'm blind.

Cabe

Toby: This is why I never lie.
Happy: You just did, right there.

Toby: Now that you're not pregnant, you are going buck wild doing all the things you couldn't do when you thought you were pregnant. You know the Amish have a word for this. It's called Rumspringa.
Happy: I'm not 18 sowing wild oats.

I am glad we are all wearing the same shirts. It shows we are a team.

Walter

One more word out of you, and my foot and your gooty are going to have an unpleasant meeting.

Paige

Cabe: You are willing to lose Scorpion just to save face in front of me.
Walter: I embarrassed him. I'm not strong enough to withstand embarrass two fathers in one lifetime.

Walter: I didn't want you to see me play! I don't want you to see!
Cabe: Son, it's just a game.
Walter: Oh please, in the history of father and sons, it's never just a game.

This isn't about money; this it's about respect. I gave my heart and soul to Scorpion. I know I'm no brainiac, but I always thought you at least respected me. I guess I was wrong.

Cabe

Paige: Hacking a computer must be cheating.
Sly: No, just a federal crime.

Patty: I'll go steal them.
Toby: Being tardy is a mortal sin, but she has no problem stealing. Strange kid.

Florence: Way down south in the cemetery!
Ralph: Way down south in the cemetery!
Florence: That's where your team is going to be buried!
Ralph: That's where your team is going to be buried!

Scorpion Quotes

Take that, you punks.

Cabe

Sylvester: Are there any monkeys on the base?
Happy: Okay don't embarrass us in front of the marines.
Sylvester: They make me very uncomfortable. They are human like, and yet they still throw their feces.