Having a baby doesn't make you a man. Taking care of a baby makes you a man. I couldn't even care for Cabe today. The guy's almost sixty.


I always knew one of the stupid ones were going to kill me. I thought it was going to be Paige.


Cabe: Whatcha doin?
Toby: Quicksand, ya idiot!
Cabe: Quicksand. I haven't seen quicksand since the Princess Bride. Now that was an awesome movie. No fear, Buttercup! I will save you.
Toby: I'm a dead man.

You know what, Doc? This is what life's all about, taking care of people you love. We need to take care of each other.


Happy: Did you get the target?
Walter: Not the one I was aiming for!
Cabe: He shot me in the ass!
Walter: It's harder than it looks!

Hey dummy, if I'm pregnant, I do not want to tell my child the dad died as gator bait.


Toby: That's Cajun for alligator.
Cabe: Yeah? What's Cajun for "my foot in your ass?"
Toby: I should know that. I've heard it before.

Walter: Well surprisingly, female mosquitos are attracted to sterile males.
Toby: That's probably how I landed Happy.

Sly: Ralphie boy, I envy you. Look at you. Your age, spending your spring break saving the planet.
Ralph: No one parties like I do.

I love you that's why I can't lie to you. If I did, I would be denying you the opportunity to improve.


Hang on, we're seriously getting derailed by window blinds?


I can be pregnant within an hour. And if I love Toby as much as I do and I still don't know how to treat him, why would it be any different with a kid? That's why all the signs are correct because I don't have what it takes to be a mom. I'm not you, Paige.


Scorpion Quotes

The water doesn't lie still, but the water still lies. Add fifty and your answer will be revealed.


What kind of punch does a jellyfish like?