Thursdays 10:00 PM on ABC
Scandal

[to Olivia] You are not resigning. I refuse to accept your resignation. You can't leave me. I'm not losing you again.

Fitz

[to Harrison] Do you even know how to use it? The safety, and the clip, and how you're not supposed to tuck it in your waistband or you could shoot off your penis?

Abby

Abby: Are you serious? You're stealing my gun.
Harrison: Borrowing it.
Abby: Harrison, you do not need to act all crazy just because everyone else here is. We are the normal ones. You and me. If we need to borrow a gun, we ask. Also, why do you need it?

Mellie: I came up with a list of men. Eligible bachelors. Prominent, smart. Pick one.
Olivia: Pick one?
Mellie: Any one of them, it's an equal opportunity list. Tall, short, black, white, Republican, Democrat. I don't care who, just pick one and start dating him. Publicly. So the everyone can stop thinking that you're screwing my husband. Smile, Olivia. The world is watching.

Olivia: Why are you doing this?
Mellie: Because I like it when my husband is the President. I worked very hard for it. I've done a great deal to get us here, and you are going to get him across the finish line. But you can't do that if people know what kind of person you really are. Cheers!

[to Cyrus] Don't patronize me like I'm some hysterical teenage girl at the beginning of my cycle.

Mellie

[to Quinn] The great thing about our line of work? Rock solid job stability! As long as people have to live together, someone's gonna pay to have someone else killed! Fact of life.

Charlie

What is currently happening is that President Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III has made an enemy, the worst kind of enemy, because I know all his secrets. I know where every body is buried, and the greatest weapon I can use against him calls me 'Dad.'

Rowan Pope

[to Olivia] You're skipping around in a field full of bombs and mistaking them for daisies.

Rowan Pope
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