When is your hearing going to go bad?


They treat me like a fly in potato salad.


Is this where birds stay when they go to Vegas?


It's not a hobby, dear, it's a symptom.


Beverly: You've been grocery shopping for seven hours. What took you?
Jackie: Long lines.

Mark: Why do birds have houses when they have trees?
Dan: I'll do you one better and this'll bend your mind. Why do we cut down trees to make the wood for bird houses?
Mark: Whoa.
Dan: One day you'll have a brownie in college and it will make it even better.

Dan: How much would you say you eat a week?
Mark: Say whatever you have to, to get me in.

We each get her for a week.


Jackie: I will take Darlene and her kids.
Roseanne: No, I like one of those kids.

I'm older so I hated her first.


Roseanne: You gotta take her.
Jackie: No, not a chance. Possession is nine-tenths of the law.

Beverly: Would it be rude of me to take my coffee in my room?
Roseanne: Go for it.
Jackie: Absolutely not.

Roseanne Season 10 Episode 6 Quotes

Don't you think Bev would be more comfortable in your spare bedroom?


Roseanne: Jackie, did you know mom sleepwalks?
Jackie: Oh, that's dangerous. I heard if you leave your front door wide open a sleepwalker could wonder right out into traffic. I'm talking wide open.