Jane: Said you'd kill him in some pretty creative ways.
Man: I was upset. Wouldn't you be if you found out your wife had some secret boyfriend?

Jane: Stuart Crane had 32 girlfriends?
Frankie: Stuart Crane wasn't just reading Don Juan. He WAS Don Juan.

I don't have to speculate. I have science.


No offense, but dude's super boring. He's an English major or something.


Maura: I wouldn't know where to start.
Jane: Uh, how about, you cheated on my mom and made me lie about it and that sucks.

I don't know what it is you think I said, but I am fairly certain there's been a miscommunication.


Maura, I live in a 2 x 3 room to avoid living with my mother.


You know, Maura gave her kidney to someone she barely knew. So if she's this mad, it's probably gonna take some time.


Frankie: My life is over.
Maura: The bathroom line wasn't THAT long.

Mom moving in with you is worse than my apartment burning down?


I don't want to paint the entire country with the same brush, but the Scottish guy? Weird.


Be smart. Always backdate your crime.