The important thing is the dam is never happening, and your dream has been crushed.


Ann, you beautiful tropical fish.


Ann: You just hired me like eight seconds ago.
April: Wow, you're doing a really bad job.

It's true. I no longer have highly trained, professional campaign managers. So what? Are most murders committed by highly trained, professional assassins? No, they're committed by friends and coworkers! That analogy was way better in my head.


I don't want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable, incompetent thief.


Leslie: See there's more things to look at on the internet other than naked guys Ann.
Ann: What?

Tom, we're already late. Now be a man and sit on that girl's lap!


Leslie: Ben, my campaign manager and I, have made a decision.
Ann: We've decided to fire that campaign manager, me.
Leslie: And hire you.

We need to get Leslie something that erases the enormous emotional debt that has built up over years of this gift-giving imbalance.


Ron: Ben and a much larger Ann. She definitely loves Ann.
Ann: Awwwww.

I know for a fact the Parks Department doesn't read letters.


Just put your damn candy out!


Parks and Recreation Season 4 Quotes

If I keep my body moving, and my mind occupied at all times, I
will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair.


No blood orphans. I don't know what that is.