Oh I don't know Jerry, it's Sunday night, I'm making phone calls to strangers, and you're in my house. My life couldn't be worse.

April

When I eat it is the food that is scared.

Ron

I don't care about that prize, but I'm gonna win because I want his happiness to away.

April

Straight down the middle, no hook, no spin, no fuss. Anything more and this becomes figure skating.

Ron

Ron: Tom, I'm asking you as a man to stop this immediately!
Ron: What the f***?

To the better place world, Fred.

April

Not now Ben, I would like to introduce Derek's ass to my foot.

Leslie

I wished for his happiness to go away. I might be a wizard.

April

He is attractive, and charming, and his family employs half the town. But, so what? I am a lifelong government bureaucrat who's well versed in the issues. And those are the kind of sexy qualifications that win elections.

Leslie

Hey, Ann, are you still a nurse or did they fire you because you slept with all the doctors?

April

I hit my head, or brain helmet.

Andy

Oh my God, this magic marker smells like cherries.

Ann

Parks and Recreation Season 4 Quotes

If I keep my body moving, and my mind occupied at all times, I
will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair.

Chris

No blood orphans. I don't know what that is.

Andy