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Parks-and-recreation

Chris: You and I will embark in a quick session of heart-rate meditation, focusing on conscious breathing and opening the heart shakra.
Ron: I'm not sure I'm interested in that. No, I am sure, I'm not interested in that.

Gilles: All due respect Miss Ludgate, do you even know what you're doing here?
April: All due respect Mr. Hamster Penis, but no, I don't.

I have so many ideas. Some are simple like take down traffic lights and eliminate the post office. The bigger ones will be tougher, like 'bring all this crumbling to the ground.'

Ron

I've gotten to know the city councilmen pretty well because of my campaign. If you hear them talking about that blonde pain in the ass, that's me.

Leslie

Leslie: Did he do all this just for you?
Ann: No, he just lives like this. He's deeply in debt, but who cares.

I'm not saying she's a dog murder per se. I just think her actions raise some questions, like 'is Leslie Knope a dog murder?'

Jennifer

Are you hitting on Leslie for me?

Ben

It's like dealing with a strict mother who I am confusingly attracted to. Ben is like a MILF.

Leslie

Chris: I'm engrossed in this book. It's the true story of a woman born with no arms and no legs who attempted to swim the English Channel.
April: That's impossible.
Chris: Oh she drowned immediately. It's kind of a sad story.
April: Cool.

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