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Ben: Where did you get a Washington Monument figurine at midnight on a Tuesday?
Leslie: From my office - I have like 50 of them.

Ben: Why are you laughing?
Leslie: Because my dream is dead.

Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.


Andy: I'll tell you what honey, here's the deal -- you get fired, I'll
quit too. I'm serious. We'll move to a new city, burn our fingertips
off with acid, swap faces...
April: What?
Andy: If we have to.

Your ambiguous ethnic blend perfectly represents the dream of
the American melting pot.


First of all, you did the right thing by hiding underneath this table.


We brought a sorry for your loss fruit basket for Bobby. And
it is very classy -- no melons and no apples.


Anything else would be a classless move, on par with spray
painting nipples on the Lincoln Memorial.


My official statement is that is, overall, a bummer.

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