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Parks-and-recreation

Ben: Where did you get a Washington Monument figurine at midnight on a Tuesday?
Leslie: From my office - I have like 50 of them.

Ben: Why are you laughing?
Leslie: Because my dream is dead.

Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.

Ron

Andy: I'll tell you what honey, here's the deal -- you get fired, I'll
quit too. I'm serious. We'll move to a new city, burn our fingertips
off with acid, swap faces...
April: What?
Andy: If we have to.

Your ambiguous ethnic blend perfectly represents the dream of
the American melting pot.

Leslie

First of all, you did the right thing by hiding underneath this table.

Andy

We brought a sorry for your loss fruit basket for Bobby. And
it is very classy -- no melons and no apples.

Leslie

Anything else would be a classless move, on par with spray
painting nipples on the Lincoln Memorial.

Jen

My official statement is that is, overall, a bummer.

Leslie
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