Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation

Hey, are you alright? You seem super not happy.

Andy

Andy: God, I swear.. it's almost like they don't want you to win.
April: Well, you better practice. You gotta win me a teddy bear.
Andy: I'm gonna win you a million teddy bears.
April: Well, I want a billion teddy bears.
Andy: Well, that's a little unrealistic. This is a hard game.. Two million.

Tom: Hold on a second. Did you get your breasts done? You look amazing!
Joan: Yes, thanks for noticing.
Tom: Joan, listen to me. This harvest festival, it's gonna knock your socks off and when it does, I'm gonna be there to give you a foot massage. To completion.
Ben: Good lord!

Donna: Normally people tell you to talk about your problems. I'm gonna recommend you bottle that noise up.
Ann: That's what my mailman said.

Leslie: You're all amazing, wonderful people and I really want you to have fun today and not focus on the fact that if one thing goes wrong, we're all gonna lose our jobs.
Ben: That's not inspiring.

Leslie: So everybody gather around. Let's grab hands.
Ron: I don't hold hands.

Leslie: Everything needs to be perfect. Joan is always looking for a scandal. She's like an eagle eyed tiger.
Andy: "Eagle Eyed Tiger." New band name, I call it!

Ken Hotatay: During the battle, 93 year old Chief Oxcatay was shot 102 times by the calvary.
Tom: Did he die?

Chris: Man.. you are just knocking these off. You're like a ninja crossed with a Jedi or something.
Tom: You're like a nerd mixed with a dork or something.
Chris: Tom, Star Wars is not that nerdy.

Lil Sebastian made his debut at the last Harvest Festival in 1987 and he was an instant phenomenon. For the next few years, Sebastian was the #1 boys name in Pawnee and the #3 girls name.

Leslie

So I have a surprise. And it is possibly to best thing to potentially ever happen to anyone anywhere in the history of the universe. Ladies and gentleman, the world famous Lil Sebastian.

Leslie

April: I love you.
Andy: Dude, shut up! That is awesome sauce!

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 259 in total

Parks and Recreation Season 3 Quotes

I'm going to type every word I know! Rectangle. America. Megaphone. Monday. Butthole.

Ron

I have cried twice in my life. Once when I was seven and I was hit by a school bus. And then again when I heard that Li'l Sebastian had passed.

Ron
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