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Leslie: Do you remember what you said to me five years ago when Eagleton offered me that job and I asked you for your advice?
Ron: Do whatever the hell you want. What do I care?
Leslie: Right, but then after, when I pressed you, what did you say?
Ron: I believe I said that I thought we worked well together, and that I might disagree with your philosophy but I respected you. And I said that you'll get a lot of job offers in your life but you only have one hometown.
Leslie: Yes, that's how I remember it.

The only thing I'm guilty of is loving Pawnee. And punching Lindsay in the face and shoving a coffee filter down her pants.


Oh dude, you forgot to put a shirt on. Don't worry I do it all the time.


I doth proclaim to be a stupid fart face.


It's not for me. These waffles make great dog laxatives.


Did you guys get your public forum gift bag? There's an iPod Touch in here.


Leslie has a lot of qualities I find horrifying. But the worst one by far is how thoughtful she can be.


Fixed her "deviated septum" and lost 35 pounds. And lost something else... what was it again? Oh yeah, her soul.


Ron refuses to tell anyone when his birthday is. He's even had it redacted on all government documents.

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