Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation Season 3 Quotes

Season 3 Episode 16: "Li'l Sebastian"

Tammy: Guess I'll be heading home.

Ron: Catching the number twelve bus to Satan's butthole?

Tammy: Actually I prefer the number 69 train to Humpsville Station.
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Ron: An hour ago an entire fireball consumed my entire face and it was far preferable to spending another second with you.
Tammy: Tell that to your pants tent.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Tammy: Does the carpet match the face?
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: Ron, are you mad at me? Because without eyebrows I can't really tell.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ron: I have cried twice in my life. Once when I was seven and I was hit by a school bus. And then again when I heard that Li'l Sebastian had passed.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ron: I think if you would know one thing about me it would be that I prefer laying wreaths to lighting torches.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jean-Ralphio: I hope you brought a change of clothes because your eyes are about to piss tears.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Oh President Reagan, my blazer popped open.

Ben: Well, Maggy Thatcher, let me help you with that. Our countries have had a very special relationship.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ben: Show me Pelosi again.

Leslie: Okay, lay down.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ron: Hello Leslie, how long have you been sleeping with Ben?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jean-Ralphio: I made my money the old fashioned way. Getting run over by a Lexus.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 15: "The Bubble"

Ben: I was completely flustered, I came off like an idiot. I mean, at one point, for no reason, I just took off my shoes and held them in my hand.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Andy: When life gives you lemons make lemonade. I read that one on a can of lemonade. I like to think it applies to life.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Ron: Chris, you have come up with a plan so spectacularly horrible that it might ruin the entire department.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ben: [To Leslie] Your Mom, kind of made a pass at me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Donna: This spaceship keyboard is driving me crazy. I'm down to one word a minute and the word is perflipiskop. Because I can't fly spaceships.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: When I first met you I thought you were a fascist hard ass.

Ben: What?
 • Rating: Unrated

Ben: Should we talk about how you claimed your mom was a Filipino woman you've never met.

Leslie: Should we?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: There's a whole room on the fourth floor where they store the knives they've confiscated from people who went to the fourth floor to stab someone.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Chris: Somebody say my name.

Jerry: Chris.

Chris: Swivel! What is it, Jerry?

Jerry: You told me to say your name.

Chris: And you did a great job superstar.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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