Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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What exactly will you be cutting? And how much of it, and can I watch you do it while eating pork cracklings?

Ron

Chris is the most positive state budget auditing consultant I've ever met. I mean, I made eye contact with him and it was like staring into the sun.

Leslie

Jerry, we don't know that. Maybe these people are very helpful and pleasant and-aah! Death!

Leslie

Man, I should have yelled at you way more.

Mark

Tom says it's OK. That probably means it isn't OK.

Andy

Ron: Leslie, what do we do when we get this angry?
Leslie: We count backwards from 1,000 by sevens and we think of warm brownies.

Yeah, you're right. I'm not going to fight them-except that I am!

Leslie

Paul: We are postponing all planning and spending decisions indefinitely.
Leslie: Um, until when?
Paul: Indefinitely.
Leslie: And when will that end?
Paul: Later than now.
Leslie: So this week, probably?

The yearly budget and planning proposal for our city is called The Master Plan. Isn't that just so awesome you can't stand it? I shall now reveal to you my master plan! Muahahahah ee ahahahah. Ugh, kind of sounded like a chimp there in the end.

Leslie

Yes, I am 21 years old today, which is the age that pretty much everyone agrees makes you an adult.

April

Call me a romantic, but I believe by the end of the night I will have between one and four new girlfriends.

Tom

Tom: Do not miss tonight's April Ludgate birthday bash. 9 o'clock p.m. At the world famous Snakehole Lounge. The place the Pawnee Journal has called, "The sexiest, most dangerous club in town."
Leslie: That's not what they wrote.
Tom: Fine. I added the word sexiest. But, we've hired better security.

Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 508 in total

Parks and Recreation Season 2 Quotes

I've established a scientifically perfect, ten-point scale of human beauty. Wendy is a 7.4, which is way too high for Tom, who is a 3.8. 10 is tennis legend Steffi Graf.

Ron

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard.

Ron
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