Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation Season 2 Quotes (Page 6)

Season 2 Episode 20: "Summer Catalog"

Clarence: You really shouldn't be leading us. If you're menstruating, you'll attract bears.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: We need to do something to distract from this... boring area. Now I didn't want to have to do this but we may have to go nude.
Ann: Goodbye, Tom.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: In a million years, I never thought you'd be the problem with this photo shoot.
Ann: Didn't you just plan this like two hours ago?
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: Hey, if there's anyone out there that's doing a photo shoot about the dangers of eating undercooked chicken, I can give you Ann's phone number.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: Come on, Ann, what are we doing? Maxim or Good Housekeeping?
Ann: I'm not sure which one is the insult.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Clarence: I don't think that's a good idea. Women need a lot of blood to flow through to their baby centers, which leaves less to the brain, you see?
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Leslie: Well, don't be such a baby. I cooked you some bacon for a trail snack.
Ron: I ate it already.
Leslie: What?
Ron: I could smell it in your purse before I even parked my car. And now it's gone and I hate everything.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: I love parks. I don't know if that's something I've communicated before. So, having a picnic with all the former living parks department directors? Guess who just checked something off her bucket list!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Leslie: It's the biggest catalog of the year. Think of the September issue of Vogue, but it's more important to Pawnee. Mainly because we don't get Vogue here.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Ron: Leslie, my first wife Tammy tried throwing me a surprise birthday party . When I saw my friends hiding through the window, I drove to a gas station, called the cops and told them people had broken into my home. I'm not big on surprises.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 20: "94 Meetings"

Leslie: I know you're probably thinking, "There's that crazy gate lady from outside back again." And to some extent, you're right. I am the gate lady. But the only thing I'm crazy about is leaving the past behind.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: I should be the one that's upset. It's supposed to be me and Ann. Or me and Jessica. Or Ann and Jessica with me watching.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: Well nothing's bruised but my ego. And my arm, a little, from the mechanized gate.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: I need you to get this word for word.
Shauna: It's a tape recorder, so it will.
Leslie: Gazebo. More like gazoinks-bo. She may be a former beauty queen, but today she's the king of destroying history.
Shauna: OK, could you just maybe talk normally?
Leslie: OK fine. Gazoinks-bo. Jessica Wicks is throwing a birthday party for her husband, Nick Newport Sr. at the Turnbill Mansion tonight.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ron: April was supposed to be the moat that kept the citizen barbarians away from Swanson castle. Instead she blew up the castle and stabbed me in the face.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Ron: How are we doing?
Andy: Pretty good. I may have promised a new aquatic center to somebody. Is that a problem?
Ann: I diagnosed two melanomas. They're both benign.
 • Rating: 3.5 / 5.0

Leslie: A hundred and fifty years ago an interracial couple was married here and then slaughtered by their own families. It's one of the most beautiful stories in Pawnee's history. Why are you trying to destroy it?
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Resident: I represent the ultimate Frisbee league and-
Andy: Pawnee has an ultimate league?
Resident: Yes, and we keep running into conflicts with the-
Andy: You won me over. I will join your team.
Resident: Um, I'm sorry. What we need-
Andy: When does practice start? And do you provide the jerseys? What color are the jerseys by the way? What's our team name? Are we the lightning?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Citizen: I thought I was having this meeting with Ron Swanson.
April: I'm afraid that Ron Swanson's currently dead.
Citizen: Oh.
April: I'm his daughter, April Swanson. And it's his last wish that I have this meeting with you.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Citizen: So your department banned me from attending games just because I yell "you suck" at the players.
Ron: According to the complaint, you yelled it at 5-year-old girls.
Citizen: Who suck! Why is that so hard to understand!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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