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Recently I have been thinking about maybe leaving this job, but I felt like I needed a sign. And then Ann broke up with me the week I was going to propose, the government got shut down and yesterday one of those pigeons took an [expletive] on me. And I was indoors, so...

Mark

Mark: You know, not everyone has your enthusiasm for this work.
Leslie: You know, I guess I've been mispronouncing your name all these years, Mark Brendana-quits.

Traditionally, when I end a long-term relationship, I'm a little fragile, and I have a tendency to do some reckless things. So I need to stay away from Chris.

Ann

I think you might find me attractive because you got drunk and kissed me when we first met.

Chris

I have a resting heart rate of 23 beats per minute. The scientists who study me say my heart can pump jet fuel up into an airplane.

Chris

Leslie: That is not your call.
Ben: I know, it's on your badge.

Idaho cut their parks department by 80 percent. And Idaho is basically one giant park.

Ben

I have run 10 miles a day, every day, for 18 years. That's 65 thousand miles. A third of the way to the moon. My goal is to run to the moon.

Chris

The government has been shut down for two days, and one city employee has tried to schedule 14 meetings with me. Can you guess who?

Ben

You're wrong. Are you crazy? Can you put a price tag on a child's smile?

Leslie

I'm very glad that you agree with me, but I actually worked really hard on my argument. Is there any way I can still, kind of, yeah?

Leslie

School is out in two weeks. What am I going to do with my kids all day? Keep them in my house? Where I live?

Resident #2
Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 508 in total

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Parks and Recreation Season 2 Quotes

April is the best, but she's 20. When April was born I was already in third grade, which means if we were friends back then I would have been hanging out with a baby. I don't know anything about infant care. Oh my god I could have killed her.

Andy

Leslie: Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?
Ron: People are idiots, Leslie.

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