Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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There's a bunch of messages waiting for you about a bunch of things I don't understand.


There isn't a woman alive who doesn't love diamonds. Even the super left wing chicks who saw Blood Diamond and cried. When they get a diamond, they like, "yeah, bitch, get more of them blood diamonds. Make 'em extra bloody."


Leslie: How could there possibly still be glitter on me?
Tom: It takes forever to get off. My crotch looks like a disco ball.

You know those hangover pills you can order on TV? I threw up a bunch of them this morning. I feel much better.


Could you carry him out of here, please? And, you know, also maybe not have sex with his wife.


I don't get men. If they're not wagering their girlfriends in pool, then they're trying to steal each others' wives. It makes you question the whole notion of those bromance movies.


Tom, it's perfectly normal to feel devastated when something is over. That's exactly how I felt when that Planet Earth series ended.


Go crazy, OK? Give my friend here the works. Really grind the sorrow out of him.

Leslie [to stripper]

I know that legally Ann is now mine, but it weirdly doesn't feel that way.


Take it down a notch. You already won your Oscar, DiCaprio.


Tom-cat, pull up a mouth. This buffet is unstoppable.


Strippers do nothing for me. I like a strong, salt of the Earth, self-possessed woman at the top of her field. Your Steffi Grafs, your Sheryl Swoopeses, but I will take a free breakfast buffet anytime, anyplace.

Displaying quotes 301 - 312 of 508 in total

Parks and Recreation Season 2 Quotes

Ann: I watch a lot of Lifetime movies. There was this one, "How Far is Too Far Enough: The Terry Palaver Lonagan Story." This woman had agoraphobia and her therapist was obsessed with her. And he hid in her house, and then he attacked her and tried to eat her toes. Also, her daughter was having sex way too young. So yeah, free self defense class? I'm there.

Andy: April, you're like an angel with no wings.
April: So like a person?