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There's a bunch of messages waiting for you about a bunch of things I don't understand.

Ron

There isn't a woman alive who doesn't love diamonds. Even the super left wing chicks who saw Blood Diamond and cried. When they get a diamond, they like, "yeah, bitch, get more of them blood diamonds. Make 'em extra bloody."

Tom

Leslie: How could there possibly still be glitter on me?
Tom: It takes forever to get off. My crotch looks like a disco ball.

You know those hangover pills you can order on TV? I threw up a bunch of them this morning. I feel much better.

Tom

Could you carry him out of here, please? And, you know, also maybe not have sex with his wife.

Leslie

I don't get men. If they're not wagering their girlfriends in pool, then they're trying to steal each others' wives. It makes you question the whole notion of those bromance movies.

Leslie

Tom, it's perfectly normal to feel devastated when something is over. That's exactly how I felt when that Planet Earth series ended.

Leslie

Go crazy, OK? Give my friend here the works. Really grind the sorrow out of him.

Leslie [to stripper]

I know that legally Ann is now mine, but it weirdly doesn't feel that way.

Andy

Take it down a notch. You already won your Oscar, DiCaprio.

Ron

Tom-cat, pull up a mouth. This buffet is unstoppable.

Ron

Strippers do nothing for me. I like a strong, salt of the Earth, self-possessed woman at the top of her field. Your Steffi Grafs, your Sheryl Swoopeses, but I will take a free breakfast buffet anytime, anyplace.

Ron
Displaying quotes 301 - 312 of 508 in total

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Parks and Recreation Season 2 Quotes

April is the best, but she's 20. When April was born I was already in third grade, which means if we were friends back then I would have been hanging out with a baby. I don't know anything about infant care. Oh my god I could have killed her.

Andy

Leslie: Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?
Ron: People are idiots, Leslie.

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