Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks-and-recreation

How could you invite Wendy when Ron's here? He's gonna wrap her up in his mustache and take her home!

Tom

It's rock and roll, my friend. Fast, smooth, handsome rock.

Andy

Well, frankly I would love to hit that. But Ann's being a little weird about it.

Leslie

Ann: Hey, how's the date going?
Leslie: Good, we just finished the MRI.

Chris: Did you ever break your arm? You can answer that. Here, I'll turn it off.
Leslie: One time I was on my bike and some boys were making fun of me, so I chased them and I lost control. I'm surprised you can see that. It was like three years ago.
Chris: Can't believe I turned the machine off for that.

Tom: I meet a girl at a bar. She seems kind of into me, could go either way. I get her number. It's two days later. What do I text her?
Zach: It was nice meeting you.
Tom: No, Zach. I don't text her it was nice meeting you. I wait eight weeks and I text her, "what's crackin'?"

Leslie: Wait. How's he gonna know it's me? I'll wear a red rose in my hair. No, I'll wear a giant red hat. No, I don't have one of those. What should I wear? It's gotta be red.
Ann: I will just tell him what you look like.

I had to finish watching Swimfan because it was... on.

April

Jerry: April, there's no paper in the printer.
April: So?
Jerry: So, that's the one thing you do.

You are wearing the hell out of that suit, sir. Banana two-button. We should talk later.

Tom

Leslie: So what is your specialty? Is it locking up the bad guys or keeping them on the street?
Justin: Uh, neither. Civil litigation mostly.

I'm back on the horse, and this horse is a lawyer so I'm looking forward to riding him.

Leslie
Displaying quotes 265 - 276 of 508 in total

Parks and Recreation Season 2 Quotes

April is the best, but she's 20. When April was born I was already in third grade, which means if we were friends back then I would have been hanging out with a baby. I don't know anything about infant care. Oh my god I could have killed her.

Andy

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard.

Ron
x Close Ad