If I wanted to bring a large number of deviled eggs, but I didn't want to share them with anyone else, can you guarantee fridge space?

Ron

Ron: How many courses will there be?
Leslie: Three
Ron: Hmm?
Leslie: Four.
Ron: Hmm.
Leslie: Not including dessert.
Ron: So five courses.
Leslie: Yes, now it will be five courses.

Justin: You've got to try this.
Leslie: Oh that's really good.
Justin: Isn't it great? It's camel stomach.
Leslie: Is it?
Justin: I'm teasing, I'm teasing. It's chicken.
Waiter: Would you like to try the camel stomach?
Leslie: No.

Leslie: That fish over there kinda reminds me of my mom.
Justin: Why?
Leslie: It's just being very withholding.

Nobody's more upset about this than me. I've been taking these rec center classes since I was in high school. It's where I learned hair braiding and how to make biscuits and french kissing. The french kissing was just from a boy in my biscuits class. But either way, lesson learned.

Leslie

Teacher: How will you decide which classes to cut?
Leslie: By attendance, and student evaluations. So just make sure your students leave with a smile.
Teacher: My class is called Coping with Terminal Illness.
Leslie: Hopefully your attendance is good! Actually no. Hopefully it's bad.

And it's because of you, our teachers, that every one of these recreation classes in this catalogue shines like a jewel in Pawnee's beautiful crown. Unfortunately due to budget constraints, this year we will have to remove five jewels from that crown.

Leslie

Leslie: The first line, by the way: Oh captain, my captain. Ron Swanson, a swan song. Yeah. It gets better from there!

The whole point of this country is if you want to eat garbage, balloon up to 600 pounds and die of a heart attack at 43, you can! You are free to do so. To me, that's beautiful.

Ron

That's the Canadian version. Twenty-two extra minutes. And there's a bonus audio track where LL Cool J raps all his dialogue.

Tom

Marcie: Hmm, you seem to have a $40 late fee on a book called Mysteries of the Female Orgasm!
Leslie: No I don't!

April: Oh my god, they're amazing.
Jerry: They're more than amazing. They are terrific.
April: Terrific's not more than amazing, Jerry.
Jerry: No? Well, it's not less.

Parks and Recreation Season 2 Quotes

People in this town don't really like their government officials being activists. Last year a garbageman was suspended for wearing a Livestrong bracelet.

Leslie

Chimpanzees are very smart, so we had them graduate from college. They like to throw their feces, so we were hoping they would throw their hats. But they just threw their feces.

Leslie