Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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Leslie: Some of them have been married for half a century. And, no offense, but everybody here is terrible at love. Divorced, dating a gay guy, divorced twice, jury's still out on you two, and Jerry, who knows?
Jerry: I've been happily married for 28 years. You've met my wife, Gail, many times.
Leslie: Whatever.

Mark: I knew, eventually, somehow being in a relationship with you would totally pay off.
Ann: I bought him some actual towels. He was using a bathrobe. And I bought him some other things that humans usually use, like shampoo.

But if you find him and he's weird, like a ventriloquist or a puppeteer or anyone who pretends toys are people, then abort the mission.

Leslie

It's the most romantic story ever. It makes The Notebook look like Saw V.

Leslie

If you look inside your bags you will find a few things. A bouquet of hand crocheted flower pens, a mosaic portrait of each of you made from the crushed bottles of your favorite diet soda and a personalized 5,000-word essay of why you are all so awesome.

Leslie

Phil: Were you aware that all the entertainment and food was provided by rec center teachers?
Ron: Would I have stayed if I knew that?
Phil: I don't know. Would you have?
Ron: Would you have?
Phil: No. I wouldn't have. Did you hear Leslie make any promises?
Ron: What constitutes a promise?
Phil: A quid pro quo.
Ron: Oh. Do you know Latin?
Phil: OK. Thank you, Ron.
Ron: Are we done?

There are very few things I have asked for in this world. To build a new park from scratch, to eventually become president and to one day solve a murder on a train.

Leslie

Leslie: Everybody stop talking, until Justin gets here. Don't use up your stories.
Mark: Well I think somebody from Animal Services is going to get canned-
Leslie: Oh my god, what part of no talking do you not understand? Please have a good time and shut your mouth.

I can't wait to talk to Justin again. Last time he told me about how he snorkeled with whale sharks in Madagascar. That was after I told him that I sometimes go swimming at the Y.

Mark

I promise I will not spit in anyone's food, unless they should request that I do.

Andy

Ann: What do you need this bird house for? Can we get rid of it?
Leslie: I might need it.
Ann: What about this one?
Leslie: Well, if two birds come along.

Hey it's me, Justin. Take my coat, but please be careful I got it from the king of Africa when we were walking on the Berlin Wall together. Really, Justin, what instruments do you play? Actually. Actually he's a pretty sick keyboardist.

Andy
Displaying quotes 229 - 240 of 508 in total

Parks and Recreation Season 2 Quotes

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard.

Ron

Andy: April, you're like an angel with no wings.
April: So like a person?

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