if I'm not mistaken that was the old lady version of flashing. Nailed the gig.


Old Woman #1: I told you so. It's Duke Silver.
Old Woman #2: Duke, can I have your autograph? I love your music.
Ron: You're mistaken, ladies. Move along.

God, why does everything we do have to be cloaked in like 15 layers of irony?


Well, it's been an interesting ride. I got a job at a grocery store, right out of college. Just for a way to make money. Here I am, 40 years later, completely unemployed.


Wendy: You're suing me for alimony?
Tom: Yes. When we were married I got accustomed to a certain lifestyle and I'm entitled to money to maintain that lifestyle.

My problem is I don't know how to tell if we're doing good, because when you play a rock show, it's really easy to know if you're doing great because chicks will flash their boobs at you. When you're up on stage. And you're like, "That musta sounded pretty good." But I can't, if that happens here my eyes will fall out of my head and I'll die.


Andy: Uh, I mean that sucked. Didn't it?
Bandmate: Maybe if you sang it like Louie Armstrong?
Andy: Maybe, yeah. I mean here's the thing though: Who is that?

Derek: Because old people are funny.
Ben: Yeah, it'll be like the Golden Girls.

Or, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. Oh, Jen. I really want you to be happy. Stay away from John Mayer!


Justin: Pick you up tomorrow around noon.
Leslie: For our nooner, which is a cute word!
Ron: Explain it to her later.
Leslie: Explain what?

Andy: I just wrote a new song, OK? Bottom line: it's called "sex hair." It's about how you can tell when someone just had sex 'cause of how their hair gets matted up in the back. It's awesome.

But think about how much better our friendship would be, if we added, doing it.

Tom [to Wendy]

Parks and Recreation Season 2 Quotes

If I wanted to bring a large number of deviled eggs, but I didn't want to share them with anyone else, can you guarantee fridge space?


Leslie: Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?
Ron: People are idiots, Leslie.