Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation Season 2 Quotes (Page 19)

Season 2 Episode 9: "The Camel"

Leslie: We lost a lot of good bread that day, as well as several human lives. And it also made the whole town smell like toast, which one resident described as quote, "disturbingly enticing."
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: If we're going to beat all the other departments, we have to choose something that will stand the test of time. Like the Mona Lisa, or the music of Squeeze.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

April: So this is a multimedia project. First, a bunch of rats made out of garbage. And um, this is a TV screen that'll be like a big flat screen TV and it'll play looped video of knee surgeries. And then, this is a human-size hamster wheel that will be next to the mural, if we can get one. And it'll be spinning and there will be like a fat guy in it all the time like screaming and like eating raw beef and like bleeding and like blood will come out of his mouth and stuff. And um, it'll be like right next to, the mural.
Leslie: I have one question. Why?
April: If you have to ask, you don't get it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Donna: OK, so, here's where it gets a little dicey 'cause there's not that many celebrities from Indiana. So, um, a Nascar. Uh, my friend Becky, Ron Swanson...
Leslie: Donna, who's the Jesus?
Donna: That would be Greg Kinnear.
Leslie: Do you think he's the best choice for Jesus? I mean he was great on ER.
Tom: Greg Kinnear wasn't in ER.
Leslie: Yeah he was.
Ann: I don't think that he was.
Leslie: Who am I thinking of?
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: It's abstract, Leslie. Over here you've got some shapes. And then, you come over to this side. You know it's actually kind of interesting. Each shape is its own thing, but then when it comes together, it really gives you a sense of, completion. Hmm.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: It's OK, sweetheart. You can't make art because you are art. You're beautiful. But that sucks.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: That looks like something a death row convict would make in art therapy.
Ann: Dude, I tried.
Tom: And you failed.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: I know everything about this town and these murals, and that's why this is a dream come true. Literally, I have had a dream where I design a mural, but then it turned into a nightmare because the mural started talking and it came alive. And it was whispering and I couldn't hear what it was saying so I leaned in close and then it ate me. At one point Gina Gershon was there.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ann: I'm a terrible artist. But the Parks Department has done so much for me, that if I can help them out in any way I will. Oh god. Maybe I should just give them all free flu shots.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: Dude, what the hell kind of art is this? It looks like a lizard puking up Skittles.
Arnold: I'm an abstract expressionist.
Tom: No, you're a con artist, and I'm a guy who's out 20 bucks. Ugh, whatever.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: I have no interest in art. Let me clarify: I have no interest in non-nude images.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: Just give me $20 worth of art. Just something that seems personal that only I could have done.
Arnold: Tell me about yourself.
Tom: No. Just paint.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Andy: Do you have a key in your shoe?
Ron: No, no. I have a bunion that's practically it's own toe. Normally the pain howls through my loafers like a banshee on the moors, but these past three minutes its been reduced to a faint growl.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ron: I got my first job when I was 9. Worked at a sheet metal factory. In two weeks, I was running the floor. Child labor laws are ruining this country.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Donna: No offense, Leslie, but I'm not an artist.
Leslie: That's not true, Donna. I've seen your fingernails.
Donna: Um, I pay someone to do this.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: You can have two legacies. Look at Madonna: great singer, amazing arms.
Tom: Look at O.J. Simpson: Heisman Trophy winner, Naked Gun.
 • Rating: Unrated

Joe: Sewage! Let's roll.
Tom: Damn! How does sewage always get the hottest interns?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Joe, you work in sewage. Your department literally specializes in crap. You really want to do this?
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: We really need better security here. We also need better, less offensive history.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: The mural that normally resides here is called The Spirit of Pawnee, and it's very controversial. We've had someone throw acid at it, tomato sauce. Someone tried to stab it once.
 • Rating: Unrated

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