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Parks-and-recreation

Resident: I represent the ultimate Frisbee league and-
Andy: Pawnee has an ultimate league?
Resident: Yes, and we keep running into conflicts with the-
Andy: You won me over. I will join your team.
Resident: Um, I'm sorry. What we need-
Andy: When does practice start? And do you provide the jerseys? What color are the jerseys by the way? What's our team name? Are we the lightning?

Citizen: I thought I was having this meeting with Ron Swanson.
April: I'm afraid that Ron Swanson's currently dead.
Citizen: Oh.
April: I'm his daughter, April Swanson. And it's his last wish that I have this meeting with you.

Citizen: So your department banned me from attending games just because I yell "you suck" at the players.
Ron: According to the complaint, you yelled it at 5-year-old girls.
Citizen: Who suck! Why is that so hard to understand!

History is important. You just can't go around changing everything all the time. Or else next thing you know they'll be painting the White House not white. I'm so angry I can't think of another color. [pause] Green.

Leslie

Jessica: Where I come from, there's a saying: "What's done is done."
Leslie: That's a saying everywhere.
Tom: I've never heard it before and I think it's a great saying.

Yeah, Jessica's a gold digger. But I'm a gold digger, digger.

Tom

I was doing a ribbon cutting at the hospital, and he was there because his blood doesn't work. We started talking, and then I realized who he was. Oh my gosh it was love at first site.

Jessica

Jessica Wicks! Hey, boo. Are you aging in reverse? 'Cause you look barely legal.

Tom

Jessica: Hi, I'm Jessica Wicks, Miss Pawnee 1994.
Leslie: Hello, yes, we've met before. We were both judges at the pageant last year.
Jessica: Leslie Norp, of course. How are you?

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