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Parks and Recreation

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Parks and Recreation Season 2 Quotes (Page 14)

Season 2 Episode 14: "Leslie's House"

Leslie: Nobody's more upset about this than me. I've been taking these rec center classes since I was in high school. It's where I learned hair braiding and how to make biscuits and french kissing. The french kissing was just from a boy in my biscuits class. But either way, lesson learned.
• Rating: Unrated

Teacher: How will you decide which classes to cut?
Leslie: By attendance, and student evaluations. So just make sure your students leave with a smile.
Teacher: My class is called Coping with Terminal Illness.
Leslie: Hopefully your attendance is good! Actually no. Hopefully it's bad.
• Rating: Unrated

Leslie: And it's because of you, our teachers, that every one of these recreation classes in this catalogue shines like a jewel in Pawnee's beautiful crown. Unfortunately due to budget constraints, this year we will have to remove five jewels from that crown.
• Rating: Unrated

Tom: Justin is hip. Pawnee is the opposite of hip. People in this town are just now getting into Nirvana. I don't have the heart to tell them what's gonna happen to Kurt Cobain in 1994.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Tom: How could you invite Wendy when Ron's here? He's gonna wrap her up in his mustache and take her home!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 13: "The Set Up"

Andy: It's rock and roll, my friend. Fast, smooth, handsome rock.
• Rating: Unrated

Leslie: Well, frankly I would love to hit that. But Ann's being a little weird about it.
• Rating: Unrated

Ann: Hey, how's the date going?
Leslie: Good, we just finished the MRI.
• Rating: Unrated

Chris: Did you ever break your arm? You can answer that. Here, I'll turn it off.
Leslie: One time I was on my bike and some boys were making fun of me, so I chased them and I lost control. I'm surprised you can see that. It was like three years ago.
Chris: Can't believe I turned the machine off for that.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: I meet a girl at a bar. She seems kind of into me, could go either way. I get her number. It's two days later. What do I text her?
Zach: It was nice meeting you.
Tom: No, Zach. I don't text her it was nice meeting you. I wait eight weeks and I text her, "what's crackin'?"
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Wait. How's he gonna know it's me? I'll wear a red rose in my hair. No, I'll wear a giant red hat. No, I don't have one of those. What should I wear? It's gotta be red.
Ann: I will just tell him what you look like.
• Rating: Unrated

April: I had to finish watching Swimfan because it was... on.
• Rating: Unrated

Jerry: April, there's no paper in the printer.
April: So?
Jerry: So, that's the one thing you do.
• Rating: Unrated

Tom: You are wearing the hell out of that suit, sir. Banana two-button. We should talk later.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: So what is your specialty? Is it locking up the bad guys or keeping them on the street?
Justin: Uh, neither. Civil litigation mostly.
• Rating: Unrated

Leslie: I'm back on the horse, and this horse is a lawyer so I'm looking forward to riding him.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Just one rule, I don't want to date a twin because I've been tricked before
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: [My ideal man] has the brains of George Clooney and the body of Joe Biden.
• Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

Leslie: You know I was only with Mark for one night and I was hung up on him for six years. I dated Dave for three months, so if I continue that pattern I won't be over him for 500 years.
• Rating: Unrated