History is important. You just can't go around changing everything all the time. Or else next thing you know they'll be painting the White House not white. I'm so angry I can't think of another color. [pause] Green.

Leslie

Jessica: Where I come from, there's a saying: "What's done is done."
Leslie: That's a saying everywhere.
Tom: I've never heard it before and I think it's a great saying.

Yeah, Jessica's a gold digger. But I'm a gold digger, digger.

Tom

I was doing a ribbon cutting at the hospital, and he was there because his blood doesn't work. We started talking, and then I realized who he was. Oh my gosh it was love at first site.

Jessica

Jessica Wicks! Hey, boo. Are you aging in reverse? 'Cause you look barely legal.

Tom

Jessica: Hi, I'm Jessica Wicks, Miss Pawnee 1994.
Leslie: Hello, yes, we've met before. We were both judges at the pageant last year.
Jessica: Leslie Norp, of course. How are you?

April is the best, but she's 20. When April was born I was already in third grade, which means if we were friends back then I would have been hanging out with a baby. I don't know anything about infant care. Oh my god I could have killed her.

Andy

Ron: I need anyone with a pulse and a brain to pitch in.
Jerry: Ron, do you need help with anything?
Ron: No, we're good. Thanks. In fact, you can head home early.

Round up whoever's free. I'm going to need more Ron Swansons.

Ron

Do you want me to postpone the rest? Or I could set myself on fire and create a diversion.

April

Leslie: Thanks for the coffee.
Ann: That's also for Mark.
Leslie: I really need it though. But next time more sugar, OK? Thanks, bye!

I'm sorry, Ron. As much as I would like to go for the all-time city hall single-day meetings record, there is an emergency. Someone is trying to alter a gazebo.

Leslie

Parks and Recreation Season 2 Quotes

Andy: I just wrote a new song, OK? Bottom line: it's called "sex hair." It's about how you can tell when someone just had sex 'cause of how their hair gets matted up in the back. It's awesome.

Leslie: Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?
Ron: People are idiots, Leslie.