Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation Season 2 Quotes (Page 11)

Season 2 Episode 17: "Woman of the Year"

Tom: I have two questions for you. One, are you ready for the investment opportunity of a lifetime? And two, do any of you have pacemakers or a history of epilepsy?
Jerry: Yes. Both.
Tom: Anybody? No? Alright.
 • Rating: Unrated

April: Here's a great one. It's a Tudor mansion. It's got seven rooms, four bathrooms. It's got a tennis court, a pool and a three-car garage.
Andy: What?
April: And it's only $20,000 a month. And it's in Chicago.
Andy: Ahh, that close. It was almost perfect.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: I've always wanted a doorman, named Ernie. That would be awesome. Or Kip. I'm pretty flexible on that.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ron: Everything I do is the attitude of an award winner because I've won an award.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ron: Which of these objects most represents women for this portrait? A pot? Or this deputy director Barbie? Isn't it adorable? She's got a little briefcase, her cell phone.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: This VIP card gives you exclusive access to the investment opportunity of a lifetime. Where? Multipurpose room F. When? 3 p.m. Dress code? Black tie optional. Just like life.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ron: Be proud of yourself. You deserve an award. Not this one, obviously. This one belongs to me. But some other one. Some other lesser award.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Andy: April, you're like an angel with no wings.
April: So like a person?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Guitarist: Look, if you're not going to pay rent, at least clean up your dishes.
Andy: Uhhhhhhhhh, is that all?
Guitarist: No. Also the bag of smells was a fun experiment, but it has to stop.
Andy: Come on, no. I'm finally starting to get serious results.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: What about your trust fund?
Jean Ralphio: My parents had it amended. I don't get anything until I'm 50, which is a waste because I'm going to be a billionaire in Costa Rica by then. Eatin' dolphin and hangin' out with lady singers.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Jean Ralphio: No way. Yesterday if you would have asked me, I would have said no. But thank god my grandfather just died so I am a-flushed with cash.
Tom: Awesome. I have four thousand bucks. All I need you to do is kick in six Gs, and then you and I are part-owners of the hottest nightclub in Pawnee. Also, sorry about your grandpa.
Jean Ralphio: No worries, he was a d**k.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: I want to open up my own club one day, maybe call it something like Club a Dub Dub, or the Club Marine. Sort of a submarine-themed club. Or Tom's Bistro. The word bistro is classy as %#@$.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ron: Awards are stupid, which is why I fully intend to decline this nonsense and recommend it go to Leslie because she works really hard and I don't. However, she cares way too much about crap like this, which is why I can't pass up this opportunity to tease her about it.
 • Rating: Unrated

April: You're, um, Pawnee's Woman of the Year it looks like.
Ron: Oh, it's about time.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Winning is every girl's dream. But it's my destiny. And my dream.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: Every child has the right to play, no matter how boring the sport.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 16: "Galentine's Day"

Andy: if I'm not mistaken that was the old lady version of flashing. Nailed the gig.
 • Rating: Unrated

Old Woman #1: I told you so. It's Duke Silver.
Old Woman #2: Duke, can I have your autograph? I love your music.
Ron: You're mistaken, ladies. Move along.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

April: God, why does everything we do have to be cloaked in like 15 layers of irony?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Frank: Well, it's been an interesting ride. I got a job at a grocery store, right out of college. Just for a way to make money. Here I am, 40 years later, completely unemployed.
 • Rating: Unrated

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