Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
Try it Now for Free and Instantly Watch Parks and Recreation.

And it's important because Pawnee is the fourth fattest town in the U.S. It goes us, Dallas, Tulsa and certain parts of the Mall of America.

Leslie

I wish he had tiny puppy shoes. I would totally shine his little shoes for free. I do say the cutest stuff.

Andy

I know you're probably thinking, "There's that crazy gate lady from outside back again." And to some extent, you're right. I am the gate lady. But the only thing I'm crazy about is leaving the past behind.

Leslie

I should be the one that's upset. It's supposed to be me and Ann. Or me and Jessica. Or Ann and Jessica with me watching.

Tom

Well nothing's bruised but my ego. And my arm, a little, from the mechanized gate.

Leslie

Leslie: I need you to get this word for word.
Shauna: It's a tape recorder, so it will.
Leslie: Gazebo. More like gazoinks-bo. She may be a former beauty queen, but today she's the king of destroying history.
Shauna: OK, could you just maybe talk normally?
Leslie: OK fine. Gazoinks-bo. Jessica Wicks is throwing a birthday party for her husband, Nick Newport Sr. at the Turnbill Mansion tonight.

April was supposed to be the moat that kept the citizen barbarians away from Swanson castle. Instead she blew up the castle and stabbed me in the face.

Ron

Ron: How are we doing?
Andy: Pretty good. I may have promised a new aquatic center to somebody. Is that a problem?
Ann: I diagnosed two melanomas. They're both benign.

A hundred and fifty years ago an interracial couple was married here and then slaughtered by their own families. It's one of the most beautiful stories in Pawnee's history. Why are you trying to destroy it?

Leslie

Resident: I represent the ultimate Frisbee league and-
Andy: Pawnee has an ultimate league?
Resident: Yes, and we keep running into conflicts with the-
Andy: You won me over. I will join your team.
Resident: Um, I'm sorry. What we need-
Andy: When does practice start? And do you provide the jerseys? What color are the jerseys by the way? What's our team name? Are we the lightning?

Citizen: I thought I was having this meeting with Ron Swanson.
April: I'm afraid that Ron Swanson's currently dead.
Citizen: Oh.
April: I'm his daughter, April Swanson. And it's his last wish that I have this meeting with you.

Citizen: So your department banned me from attending games just because I yell "you suck" at the players.
Ron: According to the complaint, you yelled it at 5-year-old girls.
Citizen: Who suck! Why is that so hard to understand!

Displaying quotes 109 - 120 of 508 in total

Parks and Recreation Season 2 Quotes

Andy: April, you're like an angel with no wings.
April: So like a person?

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard.

Ron