Parks and Recreation > Quotes > Season 2 > Page 10

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Parks and Recreation Season 2 Quotes (Page 10)

Season 2 Episode 18: "The Possum"

Leslie: Ron will show you around.
Ron: Um, right this way is the exit.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Ma'am, the next we speak, we shall be dancing on the grave of a possum.
Evelyn: Great.
• Rating: Unrated

Evelyn: Let's be honest. Animal control is not the most effective branch of our government.
Leslie: They're a bunch of burned-out morons.
• Rating: Unrated

Leslie: Fairway Frank is this awful possum who lives near the sixth hole of the public golf course. And he's actually number three on the Parks Department's most wanted pest list, right behind the bats who like to poop on the bell tower and Poopy, the raccoon who poops all over the high school cafeteria.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Oh, hello! I've always dreamed of you.
Evelyn: Excuse me?
Leslie: Meeting you.
• Rating: Unrated

Ann: I'm paying April fifty bucks to watch my house while I'm away. I would have asked Leslie but I've seen the way she takes care of her house.
• Rating: Unrated

Ann: Here are the keys. And remember...
April: I know. Don't let Tom make a copy.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Donna: I'll take it.
Ann: Donna, there's a camera in it.
Donna: I know.
• Rating: Unrated

Ann: OK, this is one of those nanny cam teddy bears, isn't it?
Tom: What? No, it's a regular camera-less teddy bear. Just put it in your bedroom. Don't even think about it.
• Rating: Unrated

Tom: Happy belated Valentine's Day.
Ann: Valentine's Day was a month ago. Why are you giving it to me now?
Tom: Whatever. Happy early Valentine's Day.
• Rating: Unrated

Leslie: Possum, there was a possum. We captured a possum and we brought it into your house and it got out and it might have laid eggs in your bed.
Ann: What?
Leslie: And it went into your laundry and your kitchen and it touched all your bras. And I'm so sorry, it's our fault we captured it and it got out and it ran around and it was a possum, OK? April, run, April. Sorry, Ann. I love you!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Andy: We're acting under direct orders from Mayor Gunderson's dog.
Leslie: Office.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Andy: Coffee is my favorite non-alcoholic hot drink, except for hot tea. And hot orange juice. Weirdly delicious.
• Rating: Unrated

Tom: It's a robot bear! It's programmed to snuggle.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 17: "Woman of the Year"

Tom: All I want in life is to own a nightclub on every continent, have my own line of upscale sweatsuits and cologne called Tommy Fresh and I fell a thousand dollars short.
• Rating: Unrated

Jean Ralphio: Let's seal this devil's three-way right here, right now. Step one, we buy into this club. Step two, we roll over to the club either in your Mercedes Benz or my pre-owned Acura Legend. Step three, I dagger you on the dance floor. Just bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce now all the ladies sayin' bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce. What do you say, sexy?
Donna: I'm out.
Tom: Why?
Donna: I hate that guy.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: The IOW is a bunch of sexist jerks who need to get back in the kitchen where they belong and leave the real feminist work to actual feminists like Ron Swanson. Oh my god what is happening?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Elise: But, if you give a women's award to a mustacheoed, masculine man such as yourself, well then eventually people take notice.
Ron: I don't want the damn thing.
Elise: Well we're giving it to you. So, you're going to take it, like a man. So congratulations.
• Rating: Unrated

Tom: [imitates Ann] Mark, what are we doing tonight? [imitates Mark] Oh, I don't know, Ann. We could do the usual boring stuff like eat some chicken salad with some crackers or watch some pay per view. Or, we could go to my nightclub and do some dancin'.
Mark: I don't think so, man.
Tom: You'd never have to beg for sex again.
• Rating: Unrated