Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation Season 2 Quotes

Season 2 Episode 23: "Freddy Spaghetti"

Tom: Whenever Ron has sex, the next morning he comes in dressed like Tiger Woods. Oh god.
Lucy: What? Who is that?
Tom: That is my ex-wife.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: Is that bacon on your turkey leg?
Ron: They call it a Swanson.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: Ron Corleone. This really attractive woman is my girlfriend, Lucy.
Ron: Hello, Lucy.
Lucy: Hi.
Ron: Whoa. Impressive handshake.
Lucy: Thanks. My father told me that a limp handshake was for weak men and communists. He hated both.
Ron: Well done, Tommy.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Andy: There's an old saying in show business: The show must go wrong. Everything always goes wrong, and you just have to deal with it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Hello, Pawnee. I'm Rinatta Ricotta. Freddy Spaghetti couldn't make it today. He bumped his noodle. There was sauce everywhere. It was just streaming out of his face. It was really scary.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: Is there any chance you could fix me in the next 10 minutes.
Dr. Harris: Sure. I'll just advance medical science 30 years.
Andy: Great.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ann: You have two broken bones in your right arm, and four in your hand.
Andy: That's the side that hurts.
 • Rating: Unrated

Donna: When we canceled on him, he took another gig in Eagleton. At a library.
Tom: That's literally the worst place I could imagine.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ron: I accidentally told them what you're doing in an attempt to save some government jobs. It's been a very strange day for me.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ben: Every department's losing a Leslie Knope.
Ron: No, Ben. They are not. No other department has one to begin with. Right now, she's single-handedly putting up some lousy concert for this city's kids.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ron: Sell the zoo animals.
Ben: OK, to whom?
Ron: Cosmetics labs, weird restaurants. I'm just spitballin' here.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Chris: I know what'll loosen up our brains. Massage train. And, I know what you're thinking. It's not that I want a massage; I'll be the caboose. And Ron Swanson is the locomotive.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: We had dinner last night and breakfast this morning. What were we doing in between? Sex stuff.
Lucy: You guys know Tom really well so I don't have to apologize for his behavior, right?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: Sorry we're late. I had to wait on my girlfriend to finish eating breakfast.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: Can you go pick up Freddy Spaghetti in your Mercedes? We need to give him the star treatment.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ron: Right off the bat, we sell city hall. Let somebody turn it into a large gas station or a TJ Maxx.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ron: I'm an official member of a task force dedicated to slashing the city budget. Just saying that gave me a semi.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ben: We need to cut expenditures by 32 percent.
Ron: Let's make it an even 40.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ann: Do you think anybody's going to show up?
Leslie: A) Yes. B) Even if they don't, we'll just put the concert on ourselves. But C) Yes, yes. They're definitely going to show up. Although D) Maybe not.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Pawnee's kids are less important than poop tubes.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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