Ron: Why do people eat anything besides breakfast food?
Leslie: Because people are idiots Ron.

Leslie: Ron, you big fat giant sap!
Ron: That seems unnecessary.

I moved our meetings to tomorrow because you are drunk, and hangover, simultaneously, at 2 in the afternoon.

April

Sure I loved shutting things down, bleeding the beast from the inside...

Ron

I was going to ask you for a job. In the federal government - even saying it feels dirty.

Ron

Ron: Hello Larry.
Terry: It's Terry now.
Ron: Okay.

Two years ago, you found out you were quarter French and had a nervous breakdown.

Leslie

That's the real reason I hired you. Those brownies were damn good.

Ron

Ron: You called me a "heartless thug."
Leslie: I absolutely did not!
Ron: You were tough. And honest.

I'll do anything! I'll watch a foreign film! I'll talk to a man with a ponytail!

Ron

Leslie: You forgot the last sentence.
Ron: No I didn't - I remember that part. It says "hire her."

Ron: You mean I've had a toy on my desk all this time?
Leslie: You mean you thought you had a REAL landmine on your desk??

Parks & Rec Quotes

Sometimes when you make an omelet you've gotta break a few eggs. What's the alternative? No omelets at all? Who wants to live in that kind of world? Maybe birds. Then all their babies would live.

Leslie

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April