Tammy does not abide by the Geneva Convention.

Ron

Leslie: Have you ever seen Monster's Inc?
Ron: No.
Leslie: Damn it Ron! Engage in the culture once.

I'm better now! I mean sure I'm depressed, and I'm constantly sick, and nothing really brings me joy, but it just feels right!

Councilman Jamm

April: My insides are dying.
Ben: So, not fine?

Andy: Head coach of the Chicago Bulls.
Tom: No he's uhh, we're with a non profit -
Andy: What!? No! Am I? That sucks.

Chicagooooo! The big apple!

Andy

It's like rescuing a bunny from a lion! But that lion is a demonic sociopath - with really nice cleavage.

Leslie

The snooker has become the snort!

Leslie

Andy: We. Are going. To Chicago!
Tom: Andy, think about what you're saying right now? Because it's the smartest idea anyone's ever had! Let's go!

Councilman Jamm: You know who else had plans?
Leslie: Oh please don't say Hitler.
Councilman Jamm: Hitler!

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Aw are you bummed Tom? I have a quick fix for that - let's get hammered. Everything is free here.

Andy

I love her SO much. I hope she's my real mom.

April

Parks & Rec Quotes

Ron: Indianapolis is home to Charles Mulligan's Steakhouse, the best damn steakhouse in the damn state. I have taken a picture of every steak I've ever eaten there. June 2004: Porterhouse, medium rare, Bearnaise sauce. January 2000: They call this one, The Enforcer. February '96: The steak ribeye. The Whiskey: Lagavulin 16. The lady next to me? A bitch. Specifically, my ex-wife Tammy. OK, this is the first I ever went there. Look at me. Just a kid.

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April