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Parks-and-recreation

I’m not gonna buy that thing! It’s covered in a gallon of your boogers!

Tom

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

I engaged in sexting, texting, and tex-mexting, which is when you take a picture of your genitals from the restroom of a Chili’s To Go.

Dexhart

I believe luck is a concept invented by the weak to explain their failures.

Ron

Ben: Today is Leslie’s last day as a counselor, so everyone needs to be extra supportive.
Ron: Already done. When I walked past her this morning, I gave her a kind nod.

April: Babe, wake up!
Andy: That’s my spaghetti, Chewbacca.

Jamm: You’re the Superman to my Lex Luther.
Leslie: You want to be Lex Luther?
Jamm: Uh, yeah! Lex Luther is rich.

How sweet is this table? I got it from an authentic Benihana for $4000.

Jamm

I have gone head to head with Jamm 112 times. He has won 56 times and I have won 56 times.

Leslie
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