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Chris: Ron, I want to do things the Swanson way.
Ron: Wonderful. First rule. No conversation lasts longer than 100 total words. I have used 9. You have used 20.

Why did it take me so long to realize this? There are no consequences to my actions anymore! No matter what I do nothing bad can happen to me. I am like a white male U.S. senator.

Leslie

Remember when last year no one got flu shots because there was a rumor they’d turn you European?

Ben

This morning I saw a youtube video with a puppy riding a motorcycle. So my bar my bar for stunning is pretty high.

Tom

The average woman worries about how she looks in a bathing suit. So does my nanny. I get it!

Annabel Porter

Ann, you poetic and noble land mermaid.

Leslie

April: Every year we would dress up as demons and we would egg Larry’s house.
Larry: That was you?
Chris: Please, Larry, this is a private conversation.

Ronnn. Can you put some more tiny marshmallows in my hot choccy?

Tom

The offer is valid for 48 hours. We’re also interested in acquiring your Thinking PJs.

Lawyer

All I want is the promise of democracy.

Leslie

Sir, I formally retract my hug.

Chris

Once she starts thinking about birthday cake, she becomes useless until she has birthday cake.

Ben
Displaying quotes 109 - 120 of 1356 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April
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