I'm going to break out of here, then I'm going to snap you in half.


Leslie: You're the most unreasonable person I've ever meet and I'm not going to change my mind no matter what anyone says.
Ron: You're bad at scrapbooking.
Leslie: Whaa--?

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Did you hear a word I said?! No you didn't! Because I'm a ghost!


Leslie: That was all flash no substance!
Ron: It was exactly as substantive as your presentation.

They're talking about this ball!


This is a competition. We need to win it. Please do your jobs.


Do you want me to bite him?


I made a list of the things you love. Playing with our dog, staring contests, having sex with me - and so on. Then I lost the list.


You have to tell me because you legally bound yourself to me inmarriage!


Ron: Terry, what has Leslie been up to?
Terry: Oh getting ready for big press conference!
Ben: Terry come on!

It's f*cking milk.


Ben: Please write it in cursive, it raises a lot of red fl-
Ron: No.

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Parks and Recreation Season 7 Episode 3 Quotes

How 'bout a submarine pilot?


I prefer quality over flash - that's why I refuse to write my signature in cursive.