Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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There is a girl here that also works at Quiznos. She's really nice to me here, but really mean to me at Quiznos.

OK, lap dances are on me. I mean I'm paying for them. They're not gonna actually be on me.

Leslie

I'm a feminist, OK? I would never ever go to a strip club. I've gone on record that if I had to have a stripper's name, it would be Equality. But I'm willing to sacrifice all that I've worked for just to put a smile on your perverted little face.

Leslie [to Tom]

April: I want to go to The Glitter Factory.
Leslie: Well, drop out of school and start doing meth.

Leslie: We are going to The Glitter Factory.
Tom: What?
Donna: Not me. I can't go back there. But if you see Jasmine tell her she can keep Anfernee, but I want my microwave back.

Tom: She's a tall, beautiful surgeon. I'm a short, beautiful government employee slash club promoter.
Leslie: You're a club promoter?
Tom: Aspiring.

Mark: You have nothing else to give me.
Andy: I have a T-shirt I tackled Eddie Vedder in. It's literally priceless.

Looking at her, I feel like she might be the perfect spooning size for me.

Ron [about Wendy]

Step two. Lose to your opponent intentionally so they gain confidence. Step two has been completed. Easily. Very easily, Mark is pretty good at pool.

Andy

I love you, Tom. You're my lil' prince. Just want to put you in a little cape and a little hat and just fly you around.

Donna

Jerry: I really wish I could have your body.
Tom: What?
April: Eww, like tied up naked in your basement?
Jerry: No, no I mean you're in good shape and you can eat whatever you want.
Leslie: That was weird, Jerry.

Andy: No, I just figured because, uh, pool's all about angles and he's a failed architect that he might want to play pool.
Mark: Let's do it.
Ann: Really? That worked?

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 34 in total

Parks and Recreation Season 2 Episode 11 Quotes

They'll only talk to you or me. And I can't go, because I don't want to.

Ron

They put a popcorn machine up there just to brighten things up, but they used the wrong kind of oil and a bunch of people had to get their throats replaced.

Leslie
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