Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation "The Master Plan" Quotes (Page 2)

Leslie: You know what's thirsty? You know what's weird? How thirsty I get when I'm weird. When I'm drunk.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jean-Ralphio: This party sucks. Let's get out of here.
April: It's my birthday party.
Jean-Ralphio: It is?
April: Yes.
Jean-Ralphio: Sorry, boo.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jean-Ralphio: One time I waited outside a woman's house for five days just to show her how serious I was about wanting to drill her. Turns out, it was the wrong house. She loved the story anyway. We got to third base. Over the pants.
April: That's so cute.
Jean-Ralphio: Yeah, super cute.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: I'm reading this, and I'm like, how could they hurt those gorillas like that? They're such gentle, magnificent creatures. You know, I'm an animal lover, I don't know.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ann: I loved Andy. Loved him. Loved Andy. He was a totally helpless baby when we met. I dated him for three years. Now he's an adult with a job. And some other girl is going to reap the rewards of my hard work? That's [expletive].
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ann: Let me ask you something. I'm hot.
Andy: Is that a question?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: Ladies. Is there anything you desire at all? Besides me?
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Ron: What's a not-gay way to ask him to go camping with me?
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Leslie: Well, but Chris said that you just had to, you know, tinker with things.
Ben: Yeah he said that because that sounds a lot better than, "We're going to gut it with a machete."
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ron: What exactly will you be cutting? And how much of it, and can I watch you do it while eating pork cracklings?
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

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