Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks-and-recreation

Andy: Do you have a key in your shoe?
Ron: No, no. I have a bunion that's practically it's own toe. Normally the pain howls through my loafers like a banshee on the moors, but these past three minutes its been reduced to a faint growl.

I got my first job when I was 9. Worked at a sheet metal factory. In two weeks, I was running the floor. Child labor laws are ruining this country.

Ron

Donna: No offense, Leslie, but I'm not an artist.
Leslie: That's not true, Donna. I've seen your fingernails.
Donna: Um, I pay someone to do this.

Leslie: You can have two legacies. Look at Madonna: great singer, amazing arms.
Tom: Look at O.J. Simpson: Heisman Trophy winner, Naked Gun.

Joe: Sewage! Let's roll.
Tom: Damn! How does sewage always get the hottest interns?

Joe, you work in sewage. Your department literally specializes in crap. You really want to do this?

Leslie

We really need better security here. We also need better, less offensive history.

Leslie

The mural that normally resides here is called The Spirit of Pawnee, and it's very controversial. We've had someone throw acid at it, tomato sauce. Someone tried to stab it once.

Leslie
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