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Leslie: Look, I know these guys didn't turn out to be exactly how we thought they would be.
Tom: You said they might not know what toilet paper is.
Leslie: I'm calling inaudible.

That's why people respect Hillary Clinton so much. 'Cause nobody takes a punch like her. She's the strongest, smartest punching bag in the world.


Leslie: What kind of birds do you guys eat?
Raul: Chickens.
Leslie: Us too. Amazing.

Elvis: Do we just, uh, select the woman we desire? I will take the large, black one.
Tom: Interesting choice.

I am deputy director of parks and recreation and chairwoman of the departmental adhoc subcommittee for pit beautification, Leslie Knope.


I had to drop the rock and roll bowling alley from our itinerary. That was one of the most difficult phone calls I've ever had to make.


My mom's Puerto Rican. That's why I'm so lively and colorful.


Also, remember everyone. Venezuela is a poor country. These men are not used to the wealth and flash that we have here in central Indiana.


Leslie: Our photo op with the mayor is tomorrow at 3 p.m., so I'm gonna need your suggestions about my wardrobe asap.
Tom: I told you, gold sequin sweatpants.

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