Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks-and-recreation

I passed up a gay Halloween party to be here. Do you know how much fun gay Halloween parties are? Last year I saw three Jonas brothers make out with three Robert Pattisons. It was amazing.

April

Leslie: Suspect still with friends in parking lot. He looks obnoxious and irritating, even from a great distance.
Dave: Uh, confirmed.

A week ago, I had nothing. Now I have a part-time job, I'm gonna make 32 bucks tonight. I owe Leslie everything I have. Which after tonight will be 39 bucks.

Andy

Leslie: Commit this to memory. You see him, you stomp him. Knock his head off if you have to.
Dave: Don't do that.
Leslie: Don't do that. But I give you permission to use excessive force.
Dave: Don't use excessive force.
Leslie: Don't go overboard. Just stop him, by any means necessary.
Dave: No.
Leslie: No. Just stop him. (under breath) You know what I mean.

Leslie: William Percy. One of Pawnee's greatest mayors, and a true hero. During the Pawnee bread factory fire of 1922, he ran back into a burning building and saved the beloved secret recipe for Pawnee pumpernickel.
Dave: Didn't like 30 people die in that fire?
Leslie: He wasn't Superman.

Ann: That looks like something you would find on the wall of a serial killer.
Leslie: In a way, that's a compliment. Shows dedication.

Halloween is my favorite holiday. It's just the best. And I don't have to work! Hey slutty teenage girls dressed as sexy kittens... pump your own stomachs this year!

Ann

He's like an invisible, adolescent, James Bond super villain criminal mastermind. Or maybe someone else is doing it.

Leslie
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