No one achieves anything alone.


Your house isn't haunted. You're lonely.


The next thing you'll want to do is ditch the terrier and get yourself a proper dog. Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat and cats are pointless.


Oh, no! Pawnee has been hit with a Tornado Quake!


Leslie: It is with a heavy heart that I say: we have been Jammed.

I wouldn't know. I've never been hungover. After I've had too much whiskey, I cook myself a large flank steak, pan fried and salted butter. I eat that, put on a pair of wet socks and go to sleep.


Well, everyone calls me Andy, but my full name is Andrew...? I think...


Well, this simulated disaster is a total disaster.


Damnit, Jamm. I should have had animal control kill you.


A few months ago the thought of an infectious disease, even hypothetical, would have sent me careening toward Bummer-town, but now I'm infected with a deadly virus. And I feel fine!


The tables showed up which is good, but there are no chairs which is bad.


Ann: That's Mission Im-Pawnee-able: Knope Protocol.

Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 13 Quotes

If I told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it? I hope so! Because the only way that this gala is going to happen is if you do everything I say.


Love fades away. But things...things are forever.