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As my brother said, The Luncheonette is not for sale. Thank you though.


I know you don't want me in your life right now, but I don't know how to do that, so call me if you want to practice. I'm really good at that kind of thing.


Kristina: You shouldn't have called those kids losers.
Adam: I know.
Kristina: They're not losers. They're jackasses.

Look, if I'm so good at basketball, then why do I always get picked last?


He's on an erectile dysfunction commercial. I don't think he can claim privacy as his number one priority any more.


Mark: Just two dudes, eating burgers, hanging out.
Drew: Pretty classic scenario.

Sarah: Do you start all your best talks with "hey man?"
Mark: Yeah, that's like the key, "woah, this guy speaks my language."

You know what? Your trying to control my stress is stressing me out.


You are smart and you are funny and your are straight up and that's why I gave you the job, Amber.

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