Is this change of plans an overreaction to something?

Jess

I don't understand. Is Toby your name?

Schmidt

You show up sick, you might as well be dead.

Schmidt

Jess: Nick, are you eating raisins from my purse? I confiscated those from a kid.
Nick: That explains why they're so sticky. Sticky Nicky eats anything and I don't get sick.

I'm not gonna get sick. No germ can live in a body that is 65% beer.

Nick

I'd give you a hug, but my shirt smells pretty weird today.

Nick

This looks like an ad for a bong making company.

Jess

Jess: Sometimes I think I was bred in a lab to help people.
Winston: You know what else they bred in a lab? Pugs.

Oh my god, I'm going to be friends with a gas celebrity.

Jess

Jess: I just want to say I'm honored you're trusting me.
Schmidt: Oh, I'm not.

Please do not reach for it like you're Winston reaching for someones breast.

Schmidt

She lulled me to sleep and then she went rouge.

Schmidt

New Girl Season 5 Quotes

Should somebody ask you for a second napkin you just say, are you sure? Nine times out of ten they'll just back off and say thanks.

Schmidt

Save your groans for Bird Man!

Schmidt