I'm sorry for my friend objectifying you, but in her defense, you are fine as hell.

Jess

It's like my hearing is what a dog hears.

Jess

The very fact that socks exist is proof shoes don't work.

Cece

Welcome to your bachelorette party 2.0.

Jess

I said chill day in, but did I mean it?

Jess

Ever since I've known you, you've been there. OK. You're always there. Even when I don't want you there, you're there. That's what a husband does. You fight for me. Thats what a husband does. You care about what I eat. That's what a husband does. You've cooked for me even when I don't ask. That's what a husband does. When I pass out you comb my hair so there's no knots in it. That's what a husband does. So guess what? You're gonna be a great husband to Cece cause you're a great husband to me.

Nick

A lot of people don't know this, but Aly's full name is Alyson.

Winston

Beans are nothing but soggy nuts!

Schmidt

That's too much whisky for my frame.

Winston

Nick: What does a man do about that pain?
Schmidt: Takes a bubble bath.

You got hurt on a hog man!

Nick

Just because a scary man yelled his name in your face doesn't mean you can't like sake baths.

Cece

New Girl Season 5 Quotes

I'm not gonna get sick. No germ can live in a body that is 65% beer.

Nick

Should somebody ask you for a second napkin you just say, are you sure? Nine times out of ten they'll just back off and say thanks.

Schmidt