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You're getting your scent all over my pillow. It took me months to get rid of that heavenly curry smell.

Schmidt [to Cece]

Jess: Now, if you'll excuse me gentleman, I'm going to go get a job — like it's my...
Schmidt: Job?
Jess: SHUT UP!

If any of you cross me, I'm gonna kick the testicles clean off your bodies! Clean off! You'll look like Ken dolls down there!


Somehow, I got on that woman's cycle of menstruation. And I got that menstruation inside of me!


No! PMS is mine! Stop stealing my stuff, Winston.


I was sabotaged by my baby box, which means I will never trust anything that comes out of it.


We sold our qualms. We used the profits to buy perfect bodies.


No part of this conversation is making me wanna boil over with rage.


There's a fine line between sexual harassment and something awesome.

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