Actually she told me that I'd get to play a government agent, you know, like Jason Bourne. Instead of course I get Jason Boring.Tiny Tony
Tony: How long have I been working for NCIS?
Tiny Tony: Long enough that you should be making better money. Wait for it...wait for it....yup. You're pathetic.
Tall Tony: I'm not even that good at memorizing lines, but you were easy. You have no life.
Tiny Tony: It's true. No wife, no kids, no hobbies. Same job, same apartment. Nothing changes with you.
Did you happen to catch her name, DiNozzo, or is that not the way dates work anymore?Gibbs
Gibbs: How did you meet her the first time?
Tony: I met her in a bar.
Gibbs: Let me guess. She approached you.
Tony: They usually do, but...I was a target.
Gibbs: An easy one!
I mean I get swindled by a bimbo, I've got Laurel and Hardy impersonating me. What about the third guy? Is he a buffoon? Is that who I am?Tony
I feel like I don't know who I am. And it's strange, because she stole my identity, right? But I feel like I already lost my identity. What is this? Seriously, is this some kind of weird metaphor for my current psychological state?Tony
Gibbs: So listen. Stretch. This isn't a game. You've got one shot at your friend. No fooling around.
Tall Tony: Don't worry. I'm an actor.
Gibbs: Yeah. That's what I'm worried about.
Tony: What's the matter?
McGee: I'm getting a call from myself.
Bishop: Answer it. See what you want.
Susan: Dad I've been looking all over for you.
Tony: Oh. Do I have a sister I don't know about?
Senior: Don't joke, Junior. There's obviously something wrong with her. You've mistaken me for someone else.
Susan: There's so much I have to tell you.
Tony: Here you go. Here's a little something. Get yourself something to eat.
Susan: Dad. Please don't leave me.
Gibbs: You said you were looking for a project. Go find her.
Senior: You serious?
Gibbs: You got something better to do?
I'm expecting a call from a jeweler. I've been looking at diamond rings.McGee
Tony: My father brought a straight off the street bag lady into my apartment, rusty old shopping cart and all. And dad said that it was your idea, Gibbs?
Gibbs: I'm glad he found her.