Jimmy: Can people really talk to the dead?
Ducky: You’re seriously asking me? The real question is--
Gibbs: Can they talk back?
Jimmy: And the answer is--
Gibbs: No!

So all of us are gonna have a great day because of your muscles?

McGee [to Torres]

Torres: God, I love my life.
McGee: What, your shirt get even tighter?

Robbery is his work, murder is his pleasure.


That’s right, cowboy! Your gut is so famous, people bow down to it all the way to California!

Sloane [to Gibbs]

You expose this witness, it ends me. My career… Emily… God, Emily. But it’s bigger than that. If you expose Mary Smith, a murderer walks.


Gibbs: Lawyer’s calling me to the stand. If I tell the truth, a man would lose everything. This man… known him a long time. Has a daughter.
Sloane: He’s your friend. Mm. And if you lie to protect your friend, you could be re-sentencing an innocent man to death.
Gibbs: Yeah.
Sloane: That is quite a conundrum, isn’t it? So, what do you think of my cabinet?
Gibbs: I think you’re trying to distract me with a handcrafted piece of furniture.
Sloane: And why would I do that?
Gibbs: Because you don’t know the answers any more than me.
Sloane: You’re right. It *is* handmade.

I’ve been carrying this around so long, I didn’t know the right thing anymore. But I knew you would.


Abby: You… you don’t know what I think!
Sloane: You betcha, I don’t.

Your dork machine is ready for action.

Torres [regarding a ham radio]

Reeves: What a load of bollocks.
Doctor Cho [confused]: What?
Gibbs: Cut the crap, Doc.

Hug on your own time!


NCIS Quotes

I'm more of a Super-Mario guy, myself.

Captain Wescott

‘You think you’re alone in the dark. Close your eyes. Remember everything good.’ My mom said that to me just before she died. Smart lady.