I don't kick down doors. Are you saying I'm not a crime fighter?

Abby

McGee: Office equipment is your friend.
Torres: It's a bad friend, the one you lend money to and never pays you back!

Well, we don't have a firm date yet, but we plan on saving money on the invitations just by telling Bishop, and everyone will show!

McGee [on his wedding]

Gibbs: That's a long swim for an innocent man!
Wayne: I'm not innocent! ...of the imposter stuff...

He's off his meds.

Quinn [regarding Gibbs's intensity]

Eleanor Bishop, will you be my Frodo?

McGee

Nobody goes to the trash room for high tea.

Torres

Bishop: It's actually freezing.
McGee: Says the 90-pound thermostat!

My burger's getting cold, and you're hitting on Yoga Lady!

McGee

Is it *possible* to be former CIA?

Torres

Gibbs: It's a classified government file!
Fornell: I'm a classified government guy!

Fornell: Get your hands off that light switch! You'll ruin the mood.
Gibbs: "The mood"? We gonna make out? What?
Fornell: I'm just trying to express my appreciation for your hospitality and friendship.
Gibbs: You wanna show your appreciation? Stop wearing my clothes!

NCIS Quotes

Wow, duplicitous backstabbers on Capitol Hill? Who’da thunk it?

Vance

There’s gotta be an expiration on the creepy factor! Besides, it’s not like it’s haunted!

McGee