Look, Agent Bishop right? You wanna help me? Let me hug my daughter. This glass, this phone....I haven't held her hand in sixteen years. I just want my baby back. Can NCIS help me do that?


Gibbs: How'd you find my house?
Osario: Former PD, remember? I could find a flea on a rat's anus.

Judith: What's in the basement?
Gibbs: Hey! None of your business! Come back here!
Judith: Is it your naughty room? Wanna know my safe word? Kielbasa.

Judith: It's been really nice talking to you, sunshine. I hope we get to do it again soon, just the two of us.
Gibbs: I'm asleep, right? This is a dream?
Judith: Close your eyes and keep dreaming. It gets better and better.

Bishop: Attention squad room.
Tony and McGee: Louder!
Bishop: Attention squad room! I, Eleanor Bishop, am asking spirits of criminal science for a really hectic day! A crazy day where lots of things go terribly, terribly wrong.
Tony: There you go.

Judith: Where's my Gibbs?
Ducky: He sends his regrets.
Judith: Oh it's fine. I'll be seeing lots of him anyway. Agent McGee and I are collaborating on a new crime novel. And I'm basing my main character on the silver-haired devil. Short on words, but his eyes say plenty.

McGee: Just so you know, I donated a bunch of my stuff last week. Stuff that was important to me.
Delilah: More important than my stuff, or more important than us?
Tony: That's a trap.

Tony: Are they arguing in binary?
Bishop: Binary averages twelve digits per word. It's some sort of modified shorthand.
Tony: He can't even argue like a cool cyborg.

McGee: Let me explain to you why that is not creepy. They're my recitals. I used to tap dance. Yeah. You heard me. I used to tap dance and you know what? I was a natural. In fact, I was amazing. They used to tell me Timmy "Soft Shoe Savant" McGee. You understand? And I'm not ashamed of it.
Tony: I gotta find a VHS player.

Tim. Big or small, we'll face it together okay?


Bishop: Zero zero, one one zero.
McGee: You're welcome.

Bishop: I'm the one that supposed to be in that position, not Jake.
Delilah: What position?
Bishop: The in harm's way. I finally understand what Jake's been talking about all this time. My NSA deployments in the Middle East, these past few years at NCIS. This is what he's been going through.

NCIS Quotes

Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.

McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.