Tagger: [spraypaints ‘FU’ on a sign, then hears a horse. He turns around to see a mounted police officer.]
Sgt. Dawson: Let me guess -- ‘FUN’? You like this place so much you just had to tell the world. I get it, I like it here, too!
Tagger: [runs away]
McGee: There’s an entire American sub-culture devoted to bone collecting.
Bishop: How do you know that?
Gibbs: He dated Abby!
Torres: Horses are not dogs, man.
Sgt. Dawson: You don’t miss a thing!
Nelson: My carbon footprint is very low.
Gibbs: Aside from smoking like a chimney.
Nelson: That’s the only reason I got busted.
McGee: You lit up in a public place, it’s against the law.
Nelson: Apparently, horses can smell prime kush for miles!
Gibbs: That’s a new lock!
Sgt. Dawson: About as secure as a screen door on a submarine.
Reeves: He liked me? The man said two things to me -- ‘Hello’ and then ‘Get out of the room.’ I’m pretty sure he thought I was the butler!
Torres: So did I, at first! Reeves, Jeeves. So confusing.
Reeves: That’s funny. I can also think of something that rhymes with 'Nick'!
Reeves: Try again!
So this is what it’ll be like when Abby gets a wax figure at Madame Tussauds!Bishop
You and I know that life is a near-death experience.Ducky
You did the wrong thing for the right reasons. Never do that again.Gibbs
I can’t help unless you help yourself. Time to tear off that band-aid.Gibbs
Ex-girlfriend: I put a GPS tracker on his car. I thought he was cheating on me!
Gibbs: Hey, nobody’s judging you.
Bishop: I am. Well done!
Mitch Monroe: By the time I was locked up, I didn’t have many friends left. Most of them got killed.
Gibbs: Yeah, by you!