NCIS

Tuesdays 8:00 PM on CBS
Ncis
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McGee: Aaah! God! What is that?
Christopher: Certified purified organic cat urine and body odor.

McGee: I'm not spending the night out here, Tony. I'm cold and I'm starving.
Tony: I'd say stop by the car, there's a slice of pizza left but we can't blow your cover, man.
McGee: I've been out here for hours and I've gotten nowhere. No one's seen him for days. They think he moved on.
Tony: Don't give up. Boy it's pretty toasty in this car.

Abby: Wish I could have done more to help him.
McGee: Abby you can't solve everyone's problems. Some people have demons they have to overcome.

Gibbs: The VA's got a lot of programs for vets, Doc. I wonder why Durbin was living on the streets.
Ducky: I recently read a HUD report. It estimates on any given night, between fifty and sixty thousand men and women who have served, are sleeping on the streets or in shelters.

Bishop: Lorin Davis, you are under arrest for the murder of Staff Sergeant Martin Roe.
Gibbs: And when we're through with you the FBI wants to talk about the theft and sale of human organs.

Emma: Can I ask you a favor?
Abby: Yeah.
Emma: Will you watch Dave for a while?
Abby: Sure! Why?
Emma: My parents got me a bus ticket to Nebraska.

Gibbs: What do you think, Duck?
Ducky: It was not that texting driver that killed the ensign, but that damned fool should be stripped of both his phone and his car.

Cabot: As you know, the Navy is trying harder than ever to eradicate sexual assault in their ranks.
Gibbs: Was Ensign Tate a rape suspect?
Cabot: Right to the point, as always. No Gibbs, Tate was a second-party complainant. He reported an assault on behalf of a friend.

Vance: So, why is the victim denying it now?
Cabot: Take your pick, sir. Shame, fear, loss of peer status.

Farrell: I can usually handle my margaritas but halfway through my second I felt like I had chugged a whole bottle. So I headed back to the ship early.
Cabot: As the only female JO you had your own quarters?
Farrell: Next morning I can't say I woke up. It was more like I came to. I felt beaten up, like I'd been through a cement mixer. At first I was so mortified I felt like I'd done something terrible. So then I just hit the showers and pretended like it never happened. The next few weeks I felt worthless, paranoid. I mean, even with my friends I had no idea who attacked me so I couldn't help but wonder if maybe they did. I swear it was like I was losing my mind.

Gibbs: You've been saving that one, Mo!
Cabot: You have no idea.

Tony: How long?
McGee: Just this once? Okay it's been the whole time. We've been working late. I was weak.
Tony: I don't even know who you are anymore.
McGee: Wait, please, I have another one. Here. Take it. It's yours.
Tony: You can't buy me with your pepperoni. I want steak. Creamed spinach. French fries.
Bishop: Can I get in on this?
McGee: Yes. Absolutely. Steaks all around, my treat. Let's go.

Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 683 in total

NCIS Quotes

McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.

Bishop: It's just....I did everything right. I mean, I was textbook. How can I fail?
McGee: Everybody fails. It's the Kobayashi Maru.

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