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Ncis

Tony: Such a shame. Vintage 62 Telecaster.
Gibbs: Yeah. Real tragedy.
Tony: Yeah, cause--the dead people are a shame too. It's just....oh look, it's McGee!

Ducky: If you have to change the diaper of a sleeping child, you need to be efficient. I would also think that you need to---
Gibbs: Keep the lights low, and the room quiet.

McGee: How long have they been at it?
Abby: Like an hour. I heard Ducky curse, ten minutes ago. I mean, well I think he did. I'm not that familiar with British profanity.

Bishop: He's not our guy.
Tony: We should still arrest him for that hair-do.
Bishop: Hey, what have you got against mullets?

Denny Johnson: Hello? I'd like to go home? I'm self-diagnosed with IBS and mild claustrophobia. I am not feeling very well.
Manheim: There is no way that guy's related to me.

Manheim: He still lives with his mother? I want a DNA test.
Tony: Abby's already run it. Congrats. It's a boy. Sort of.

Tony: The little autopsy gremlin is growing up.
Ducky: His whole life is going to change.
Gibbs: Over and over.

All right. Okay. Put your drinks down. On a coaster. And make your way in an orderly fashion to the front door, or I will shoot you. That means you, mullet.

Tony

Palmer: I take it you heard?
Gibbs: Mmm hmm.
Palmer: Yeah, she saw the baby and just....I guess she felt the same way we felt when we first saw him. Can't fault her for that, right?
Gibbs: You should go home.
Palmer: I will. Yeah Breena and I, we just wanted to get all this stuff out of the house. You know, we wanted to give it back as soon as possible.
Gibbs: We.
Palmer: Me. She's hurting too, but she is so much stronger. She's ready to try again. And me - I feel like I can't breathe. I never felt this bad in my life, Gibbs.
Gibbs: Well, just wait until it's 3:00 in the morning, and your kid's running 104. You're just getting started.
Palmer: That's the point. I'm not starting, you know? Maybe I never will.
Gibbs: Well then fight for it, Palmer! That's what you do. You fight for your family. And sometimes, you fight like hell just to have one.
Palmer: You want me to fight, I feel like I just went ten rounds with Joe Louis.
Gibbs: Do you want to be a dad, Palmer? Because right now, this is being a dad.
Palmer: Maybe I'm not ready.
Gibbs: You wouldn't feel the way you feel, right now, if you weren't ready.

Tony: You're enjoying this a little too much, aren't you Eugene?
Coyle: Just doing my job.

Palmer: I've always been fascinated by private detectives.
Ducky: Yes, I would venture that's because you were influenced by the great literary British detectives. Sherlock Holmes, Jane Marple. They were all intelligent, cultured, articulate, refined. Not shady and unethical, like this hustler, this miscreant.
Abby: I like Ace Ventura.
Ducky: Who?

Don't be seduced by his charm. He's self-centered, a one-man wrecking crew who leaves disaster in his wake.

Tony
Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 645 in total

NCIS Quotes

Boss, would you mind sitting with me?

McGee

Salim: [re: truth serum] It will not take long for it to start working.
Tony: You're gonna be dead soon, you know.

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