McGee: Bishop have you not noticed how extra quiet Gibbs has been, lately?
Tony: See, he's on about this. I don't agree with you.
Bishop: Lately?
Tony: Thank you

McGee: Jeanne Benoit? Really? Wow.
Bishop: All I got out of Tony was "good friends" but I know there's more.
McGee: Oh, there's more, believe me. There's so much more I don't even know where to start.

Taft: Whoa whoa whoa. South Sudan? That's rugged country for anybody, much less a guy six months out of major surgery.
Gibbs: Funny, I don't recall asking.
Taft: Send me a postcard.

Abby: You forget about South Sudan, mister. You're not going anywhere.
Gibbs: Abby--
Abby: Don't Abby me. You collapsed in the squad room, Gibbs. What part of that is okay with you?
Gibbs: Were you there? I did not collapse.
Bishop: Yeah, you kind of did, Gibbs.
Gibbs: Aw swell. Where's DiNozzo? Where's McGee? Let's bring the whole gang in here.

McGee: So when are you going to go talk to her?
Tony: There's nothing to talk about. I'm sorry about what happened, but I was doing my job. That's it. Of course it bothered me that I lied to her. I was in love with her. But it was a long time ago and her husband is missing and there's nothing to talk about.
McGee: So when are you going to go talk to her?

Tony (flashback): I'm sorry you got caught in the middle of all this.
Benoit: Was any of it real?
Tony: No.
Benoit: I wish I'd never met you.

Palmer: I'd be happy to research African tribal traditions for you, Agent Bishop.
Bishop: That'd be great, Jimmy. Thanks. But for me?
Ducky: Eleanor has it not occurred to you that you are now running point?

Gibbs: The only therapy I need is my job.
Taft: Be sure to put that on your tombstone.

Gibbs: I'll talk. I don't need my head examined.
Taft: Oh, no. Perish the thought. In which case, that leaves.....me?

McGee: It's gotta be weird for you on some level.
Tony: Yeah. I think the word is totally surreal. All of it. The truly weird part is, I'm happy for her.
McGee: You should be happy for yourself, too. You don't have to carry around all that guilt anymore.
Tony: Maybe. Maybe not.

Taft: What are you afraid of, Gibbs?
Gibbs: Nothing.
Taft: Cut the crap. Life threw you a major league curve. You get a lot of support but at the end of the day, when your head hits the pillow, it's just you. Admitting at least that much might be half the battle. Everybody's afraid of something. Even the great Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

Gibbs: Nice nails, Tim.
McGee: Thanks, boss. You know, Delilah said---
Gibbs: Of course! You can't say manicure without m-a-n.

NCIS Quotes

Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.

[reading Valentine's Day card] Roses are red; they go in a bucket; Jake is a jerk; he can go suck it.

Bishop