Abby: Death by cookies.
Abby: Yes. Frosted almond cookies, with little almond bits and some poison mixed in.
Postal Worker: Oh, we’re closed!
Torres: Oh, we’re federal agents!
Whit Dexter: Gentlemen! You’ve got three minutes before I’m back from commercials. My secretary says you’re with CSI?
Whit Dexter: Whatever.
Reeves: You got shot.
Triff: It’s still not the worst vacation I’ve ever had.
Triff: I’m a vegetarian.
McGee: Are you kidding?! You used to be a furrier!
Triff: Wearing animals isn’t the same as eating them!
He just found out he’s going to bunk with a serial killer. There’s no sympathy card for that.Clayton Reeves [about McGee]
Sloane: Well-adjusted individuals do not butcher people in their living rooms.
McGee: Or stare at people like they want to eat their face.
Sloane: Triff’s not a cannibal.
McGee: *Yet.* But if he branches out, I don’t want to be his guinea pig.
Gibbs: McGee, go see Triff. Find out what he knows.
McGee: Me? Boss, you sure *you* don’t want to talk to him instead?
Gibbs: You know him better than I do!
McGee: ...Anyone wanna trade?
Torres: Oh, I have to look at my screen and stuff.
Bishop: I got a thing.
Bishop: The inmate Jessica Schaeffer met with was Paul Triff.
Torres: What?! Hold on! As in the guy who carved up three bodies with an electric knife in McGee’s apartment and buried a mummified body under the floor? *That* Paul Triff?
Fornell: How the hell does he know I’m in here?
Sloane: He can probably hear you grinding your teeth.
Gibbs: Side door was open.
Fornell: After you picked the lock?
Couples therapy is not in my job description.Vance [regarding Gibbs and Fornell]