I can’t help unless you help yourself. Time to tear off that band-aid.

Gibbs

Ex-girlfriend: I put a GPS tracker on his car. I thought he was cheating on me!
Gibbs: Hey, nobody’s judging you.
Bishop: I am. Well done!

Mitch Monroe: By the time I was locked up, I didn’t have many friends left. Most of them got killed.
Gibbs: Yeah, by you!

Ducky: What have you found, Dr. Palmer?
Jimmy: I’m not sure. Maybe, mud? Maybe? But not exactly?
Ducky: Ah, that’s quite an analysis.

Bishop: Painting is fun!
Torres: Unless someone is posing nude, I am *not* interested.

It’s like a window that keeps closing a little, and a little bit more everyday.

Marie [on losing her memories]

McGee: Mr. Hackett? The password, please?
Hackett: And if I refuse?
Gibbs: A shower! A cold one!

Torres: Twelve-hour ribs? Wow!
Marie: What are you doing tomorrow night?
Quinn: Oh, oh, no, he’s very busy.
Torres: I am?
Quinn [awkwardly]: You signed up for the stakeout… mission…
Torres: Oh… yeah… there’s this mission, it’s a stakeout. It’s like a stakeout mission… that I signed up for…

Well, it’s certainly very *orange*.

Marie [about the NCIS office]

Vance: You intentionally infected an NCIS agent with a computer virus?!
Admiral Chase: I was trying to motivate him.
Vance: By committing a felony? Five felonies!
Admiral Chase: Look, I meant to send it to Tim only.
Gibbs: Viruses spread.
Admiral Chase: Look, are you going after me, or the hacker who started this?
Gibbs: We can do both.

Forty-one years in the Navy, I have never surrendered to the enemy. I’m not about to start now!

Admiral Chase

Bottom line, O’Leary killed two people over some really ugly flooring.

Quinn

NCIS Quotes

Worry’s a bully. It gives you nothing. It only takes.

Grace Confalone

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.