Gibbs: It's a classified government file!
Fornell: I'm a classified government guy!

Fornell: Get your hands off that light switch! You'll ruin the mood.
Gibbs: "The mood"? We gonna make out? What?
Fornell: I'm just trying to express my appreciation for your hospitality and friendship.
Gibbs: You wanna show your appreciation? Stop wearing my clothes!

Dr. Grace [about Quinn's prying]: She's new, Gibbs, but you have her well-trained! What's next? You gonna take me downstairs to your torture room and try to squeeze something outta me?
Gibbs: Sure. What's your preference? Stock a little waterboard, a little bamboo under the fingernails?

Let's go back to what we know -- he's dead. I'm pretty confident about that.

Torres

And the hair slowly went up on Agent Quinn's neck!

Quinn [meeting Abby]

I've been to drug lord torture rooms less scary.

Torres [on the NCIS interrogation room]

Does she normally water the bird feeder?

Quinn [on an elderly woman's routine]

Bishop: Gibbs is famous for coming in just before the weekend starts and saying--
Gibbs: Grab your gear!

Everybody I never wanted to see again, all in one room.

Neil Sherwood [on the high school reunion]

Torres: He knew we were gonna meet here.
Gibbs: How do you know that?
Torres: Because he planted a bomb under my seat. I activated the pressure trigger when I sat down.
Gibbs [sees the bomb and grins]: And you're waiting until now to tell me that?
Torres: Well, I was in the middle of something. How does it look?
Gibbs: Hm, like it may hurt for a second!
Torres: You are enjoying this.
Gibbs: Oh, yeah. A little.

Quinn: Left behind some scorned women, huh, Gibbs?
Gibbs: I have no comment.

You have a doorbell?

Fornell [to Gibbs]

NCIS Quotes

Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.

‘You think you’re alone in the dark. Close your eyes. Remember everything good.’ My mom said that to me just before she died. Smart lady.

Gibbs