Bishop: What is it you expect me to do? Take down a whole village of insurgents on my own? That's not me. I'm an analyst.
Gibbs: I thought you were a field agent.
Bishop: Gibbs, whatever lesson you're trying to teach me is going to get Qasim and Corporal Collins killed. My job is in there, not out there.
Gibbs: Your job, Bishop, is to do what I tell you to do. You can do this.
Bishop: Don't put me in a position I'm not trained for.
Gibbs: Training's not the problem - you are. I told you, I got your back. Stop hiding behind things that are familiar, Bishop. You're better than that. The answers you want, Bishop - they're out there.

Qasim: Agent Gibbs, please pass along my gratitude to the other agents for capturing Landis' killer.
Gibbs: I'm not your messenger. Do it yourself. Come on - chop chop. Let's go. Hustle up.
Qasim: I don't understand.
Bishop: We put a call into the Secretary of the Navy. It took some convincing but after reading over fifty U.S. Marine statements on your behalf, she endorsed your special immigrant visa application. You're coming with us.
Qasim: To the United States to live?
Gibbs: Don't go getting all excited just yet.
Bishop: You'll be required to work at a translation post in D.C. while your visa's being processed. It's not negotiable.
Qasim: Where will I be found?
Gibbs: NCIS
Qasim: I believe I can manage that.

Bishop: Hi Mr. DiNozzo!
Tony Senior: Eleanor! If I was thirty years younger and you weren't married...oh my God.

Zoe: Should I go home, change first?
Tony: I see no reason to do that. I think you look exquisite.
Zoe: Thank you. I just want everything to go perfectly. To tell you the truth I'm a nervous wreck. I think I've seen Meet the Parents way too many times.
Tony: Well I can assure you my father is nothing like Robert DeNiro.
Gibbs: Come on, come on. Get to work.
Tony: Gibbs on the other hand...

Tony: I've been doing this a little longer than you and I know one thing: we've got to put pressure on them. Trust me.
Zoe: You know, I hate it when someone says "trust me". I immediately don't.
Tony: Are we having our first argument?

Senior: Such an ambitious undertaking by the father, you'd think that the son would show some appreciation.
Tony: I appreciate what you did to my kitchen!
Zoe: You know, I think I should just leave.
Tony: No no no no no no. Don't leave me with Wreck-It Ralph.
Zoe: We can just re-schedule.
Tony: No. Please, Zoe. I told you I wasn't exaggerating. This always happens. Thank God he lives in New York.

Tony: I don't know what I was thinking. I should have never suggested working with Keates. That was not a good idea. I would like to invoke Rule #12: never date a co-worker.

Zoe: You've got to get your lies straight, DiNozzo.
Tony: DiNozzo. You've never gone surname on me before.
Zoe: You've never gone liar on me.

McGee: You guys tell Gibbs where you're going?
Tony: Well I'm senior agent and you're Mcnot. I can take the initiative.

Look at him down there. McGee in the role of black market gun buyer. It's the worst casting since Kevin Costner in Robin Hood.

Tony

Tony: Oh dad. We gotta talk.
Senior: Me first. I don't know what I was thinking. Of course I know what I was thinking. I was thinking about myself, because I'm selfish.
Tony: Dad--
Senior: Junior, listen. It's taken too long for me to realize that you have to live your own life. I want to be near you. And I'm going to be. But not in your building. You need your space.
Tony: I'd like to disagree with you. But I'm not going to, because you're right. Thanks.

McGee: Okay you're telling me that Ziva knew too?
Vance: Agent McGee, your ego is not the subject of this briefing.

NCIS Quotes

[voiceover] Anyone can achieve their fullest potential, who we are might be predetermined, but the path we follow is always of our own choosing. We should never allow our fears or the expectations of others to set the frontiers of our destiny. Your destiny can't be changed but, it can be challenged. Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.

McGee

Abby: It's okay. Breena's fine. Breathe. Good. Now hurry up and get to the hospital because Breena is in labor.
McGee: Jimmy? Did you hear what she said? She just said Breena's having a baby. I think you broke him.