Torres: Why’d she call you and not me?
McGee: Well, she called *us*. But unlike you, I spend time at my desk.

Abby: I saw no moxie when she stayed at my place last night! She barely even spoke to me!
Jimmy: By any chance, did you have her sleep in your guest casket?
Abby: I do not have a guest *casket*, I have a guest *room*!

Kasie: It’s a long story. [beat] Too long. I was told not to waste your time.
Gibbs: Who told you that?
Kasie: Everybody. [Gibbs leaves the elevator.] The same ‘everybody’ that says you leave without saying goodbye!

Sloane: So, if this ‘one of a kind’ Viking war stick is in storage…
Abby: What is it doing here?

Bishop: Where to begin?
Gibbs: Probably with the one labeled ‘Viking War Stick.’

Bishop: Have we got our killer?
Gibbs: Nope. Just a liar.

Kasie, put on a lab coat, scrub up, and then by all means continue this suddenly *excruciating* conversation while you work *together*, but out of my purview.

Ducky

Sloane: I’m flattered, Gibbs! Finally made it to your Inner Sanctum.
Gibbs: It’s a basement.

I'm not even gonna ask about *that*.

Sloane [sees Gibbs' boat]

Bishop: We’re looking for Clyde. We went to his apartment, he wasn’t home.
Clyde’s Brother’s Wife: And you came here?
Bishop: Well, yeah, we figured since you two were sleeping together and all.

Sloane: This is *not* about getting hooked up to a car battery! These are not emotions I can just get over! This is not a problem that can be solved! [beat] I should’ve saved them.
Vance: You didn’t kill them.
Sloane [voice breaking]: But I let them die.

Clayton: I once had a friend at MI6 whose taxes got messed up while he was undercover in Borneo. Took him years to pay off.
McGee: How’d that happen?
Clayton: Tried to write off a helicopter as his company car.

NCIS Quotes

‘You think you’re alone in the dark. Close your eyes. Remember everything good.’ My mom said that to me just before she died. Smart lady.

Gibbs

Morrow: There's a connection between the death of that Navy Seal and what's happening with your team.
Vance: What kind of connection?
Morrow: The murder of Eli David opened a political can of worms that was much bigger than anyone expected.
Vance: Eli and Arash Kazmi wanted to forget a peace. But Bodnar killing them opened the door.
Morrow: Homeland and the CIA wait for chances like this, to stir the pot. Distract governments so that all sorts of recon can happen. The CIA needed Iran to believe Mossad was responsible.
Vance: Are you telling me that Bodnar didn't kill Kazmi?
Morrow: I'm telling you we did it, Leon. The CIA took out Kazmi that night so that Bodnar would end up being the fall guy. Iran and Israel could duke it out while we focused on the real threat. We're all so damned worried about Iran and North Korea when the real threat is here, on home soil.
Vance: It's a shell game isn't it? Keep people distracted.
Morrow: Leon you see why I wanted you to keep your distance?