Ex-girlfriend: I put a GPS tracker on his car. I thought he was cheating on me!
Gibbs: Hey, nobody’s judging you.
Bishop: I am. Well done!

Mitch Monroe: By the time I was locked up, I didn’t have many friends left. Most of them got killed.
Gibbs: Yeah, by you!

Ducky: What have you found, Dr. Palmer?
Jimmy: I’m not sure. Maybe, mud? Maybe? But not exactly?
Ducky: Ah, that’s quite an analysis.

Bishop: Painting is fun!
Torres: Unless someone is posing nude, I am *not* interested.

It’s like a window that keeps closing a little, and a little bit more everyday.

Marie [on losing her memories]

McGee: Mr. Hackett? The password, please?
Hackett: And if I refuse?
Gibbs: A shower! A cold one!

Torres: Twelve-hour ribs? Wow!
Marie: What are you doing tomorrow night?
Quinn: Oh, oh, no, he’s very busy.
Torres: I am?
Quinn [awkwardly]: You signed up for the stakeout… mission…
Torres: Oh… yeah… there’s this mission, it’s a stakeout. It’s like a stakeout mission… that I signed up for…

Well, it’s certainly very *orange*.

Marie [about the NCIS office]

Vance: You intentionally infected an NCIS agent with a computer virus?!
Admiral Chase: I was trying to motivate him.
Vance: By committing a felony? Five felonies!
Admiral Chase: Look, I meant to send it to Tim only.
Gibbs: Viruses spread.
Admiral Chase: Look, are you going after me, or the hacker who started this?
Gibbs: We can do both.

Forty-one years in the Navy, I have never surrendered to the enemy. I’m not about to start now!

Admiral Chase

Bottom line, O’Leary killed two people over some really ugly flooring.

Quinn

You, me, Henry. We’re all the same guy. You’re just a few decades behind.

Gibbs [to Reeves]

NCIS Quotes

Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.

I'm more of a Super-Mario guy, myself.

Captain Wescott