Gibbs: The only therapy I need is my job.
Taft: Be sure to put that on your tombstone.

Gibbs: I'll talk. I don't need my head examined.
Taft: Oh, no. Perish the thought. In which case, that

McGee: It's gotta be weird for you on some level.
Tony: Yeah. I think the word is totally surreal. All of it. The truly weird part is, I'm happy for her.
McGee: You should be happy for yourself, too. You don't have to carry around all that guilt anymore.
Tony: Maybe. Maybe not.

Taft: What are you afraid of, Gibbs?
Gibbs: Nothing.
Taft: Cut the crap. Life threw you a major league curve. You get a lot of support but at the end of the day, when your head hits the pillow, it's just you. Admitting at least that much might be half the battle. Everybody's afraid of something. Even the great Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

Gibbs: Nice nails, Tim.
McGee: Thanks, boss. You know, Delilah said---
Gibbs: Of course! You can't say manicure without m-a-n.

Tony: Hey, McGee! Why don't you do the digging. That seems to be your specialty.
Gibbs: And ruin the manicure? That's not going to happen.

Dear noble eastern white pine. Thank you for your brave sacrifice. And Tony is very sorry that he attacked you with his knife. And we promise that we will find and punish the person that shot you. The end.


Tony: Dear noble eastern white pine, this is from Abby Sciutto. She said you would know what to do with it. There you go. There, I said it. Are you happy?
McGee: I'm happy and Abby will be very happy.

Judith: You have a very commanding voice, Special Agent Gibbs. And big hands.
Bishop: Oh boy.

Gibbs: Who are you?
Lyle: I'm Lyle.
Gibbs: Shut up, Lyle

Gibbs: We're doing this the hard way.
Judith: I like the hard way.

This is my whole world. Can you imagine if I messed up? What that really means? It means that innocent people went to jail because of me. Because of my mistakes.


NCIS Quotes

Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.