Ex-girlfriend: I put a GPS tracker on his car. I thought he was cheating on me!
Gibbs: Hey, nobody’s judging you.
Bishop: I am. Well done!

Mitch Monroe: By the time I was locked up, I didn’t have many friends left. Most of them got killed.
Gibbs: Yeah, by you!

Ducky: What have you found, Dr. Palmer?
Jimmy: I’m not sure. Maybe, mud? Maybe? But not exactly?
Ducky: Ah, that’s quite an analysis.

Bishop: Painting is fun!
Torres: Unless someone is posing nude, I am *not* interested.

It’s like a window that keeps closing a little, and a little bit more everyday.

Marie [on losing her memories]

McGee: Mr. Hackett? The password, please?
Hackett: And if I refuse?
Gibbs: A shower! A cold one!

Torres: Twelve-hour ribs? Wow!
Marie: What are you doing tomorrow night?
Quinn: Oh, oh, no, he’s very busy.
Torres: I am?
Quinn [awkwardly]: You signed up for the stakeout… mission…
Torres: Oh… yeah… there’s this mission, it’s a stakeout. It’s like a stakeout mission… that I signed up for…

Well, it’s certainly very *orange*.

Marie [about the NCIS office]

Vance: You intentionally infected an NCIS agent with a computer virus?!
Admiral Chase: I was trying to motivate him.
Vance: By committing a felony? Five felonies!
Admiral Chase: Look, I meant to send it to Tim only.
Gibbs: Viruses spread.
Admiral Chase: Look, are you going after me, or the hacker who started this?
Gibbs: We can do both.

Forty-one years in the Navy, I have never surrendered to the enemy. I’m not about to start now!

Admiral Chase

Bottom line, O’Leary killed two people over some really ugly flooring.

Quinn

You, me, Henry. We’re all the same guy. You’re just a few decades behind.

Gibbs [to Reeves]

NCIS Quotes

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.

Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.