Tony: Special Agent Fornell! Look at that. Your hair grew back, almost.
Fornell: You see, this is why you're my least favorite, DiNozzo. [Glances at McGee] Scratch that. Second least favorite.

Gibbs! New look! What's next, skinny jeans?

Fornell

George: We going to talk about the gold elephant in the room? You're still wearing your ring. Does that mean you want to try and work it out?
Bishop: Marriage isn't something you just give up on. Those vows meant something to me.
George: You weren't the one who broke them.

Tony: Name of the boat is crucial. I had mine picked out for years. Go ahead, you'll never guess.
McGee: The Codfather.
Tony: We've been working together too long.

Gibbs: What do you need?
Bishop: For everyone to stop treating me like I'm this fragile thing that's about to break.
Gibbs: [laughs]
Bishop: What?
Gibbs: How many times a week did you check on me after Iraq? You kept showing up, even after I said I was fine.
Bishop: That's different, Gibbs. You almost died. We were all worried.
Gibbs: So's your family. They just want to make it better.
Bishop: I've been so inundated with everyone's opinions on how I should feel and what I should do, I haven't actually been able to process it myself.
Gibbs: You can't do that if you won't talk about it.

Bishop: Well. You are telling me to talk about my feelings? All right. Tell me Gibbs, how have you processed getting shot? Who is it you're opening up to?
Gibbs: Dr. Taft. I've been talking with him since the Sudan case. Everyone reaches a point, Bishop. Even me. You just got to take the first step.
Bishop: But I can't.
Gibbs: Rule #28. When you need help, ask.

Bishop: You can change the future. Yours and Alex Quinn's. A soldier who fought bravely for his country and is fighting for his life. A life that you can save. You once took an oath to never leave a fallen soldier behind. Now's your chance to make good on that promise.
Doogan: The deal was my only shot at getting out of here. I just wanted a fresh start.
Bishop: That's exactly what this is. A new beginning. I know. Don't let a bad situation define who you are.

Fornell: All right, this is too pathetic. Grab your stuff, let's go.
Tony: Go where?
Fornell: My house.
Tony: You're inviting me to your house for Thanksgiving dinner? I thought I was your second-least favorite?
Fornell: You are. But dry turkey, blackened dinner rolls....it's really more of a punishment.
Tony: So now that we're friends, can I call you Toby?
Fornell: Don't push your luck.

Barbara: My daughter doesn't open up to many people, Gibbs. So I guess if she trust you, I should too. It is not easy knowing she's hundreds of miles away working in a dangerous job. If I had my way, she'd live here and be a teacher. Or a nun.
Gibbs: Daughters.
Barbara: That being said, it is very comforting to know she's surrounded by people who care about her.
Gibbs: I'll look after her.
Barbara: I'm counting on that.

McGee: You know I once dated a girl who had pteronophobia.
Tony: What is that?
McGee: A fear of being tickled with a feather.
Tony: That's interesting. Kinky. Wait a minute. You haven't dated that many people. Do I know this person? Is it Delilah?
McGee: No. It's not Delilah.
Tony: Is it Abby? It is! It's Abby!
McGee: Listen. She will kill me, okay? You have to promise, promise that you will not tell her.
Tony: I promise. You have my word as a gentleman, I promise.

Friedgen: You've got to understand. I didn't do anything. I'm innocent, but nobody believes me. Everyone thinks I'm guilty of murder and got off on a technicality.
Clark: The police aren't looking for anyone else, Gibbs.
Gibbs: What do you want me to do?
Friedgen: I want NCIS to arrest me for murder. I want the truth to come out. I deserve my day in court, sir. I want to be court-martialed.

Green: Is this THE DiNozzo?
Malone: In person.
Green: Hey, you are a legend around here. I've heard a lot of wild stories about you. Tell me about the naked bust. That's not true.
Tony: That is 100% true.
McGee: So who was naked, you or the perp?
Tony: Both of us. I was undercover at a nudist colony.
Malone: See we got this tip. Pole dancer was stealing from her boss, so she's hiding out in a nudist colony. DiNozzo volunteers to go undercover.
McGee: Of course he does.
Green: Is it true you spotted her right away but didn't make the arrest for two days?
Tony: Three days.

NCIS Quotes

Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.

McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.