NCIS

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Ncis

Young Ducky: You must be joking. Do I look like the bow-tie type to you?
Young Margaret: Well it's time to update your wardrobe. You're a medical doctor, not Doctor Who.

Margaret: Obstetrics? I thought you wanted to specialize in heart surgery?
Young Ducky: It's another four years of university. I've had it up to here with cadavers. To be honest, if I never see another dead body again it'll be too soon.

Bishop: Whoa. Is that you?
Ducky: Yes. Hard to believe, isn't it?
Bishop: You were hot, like really really....never mind.
Ducky: I really loved that turtleneck.

I do love a man in a bow tie.

Margaret

Ducky: I can still save your life.
Godfrey: Oh yeah?
Ducky: There is still time.
Godfrey: All mouth and no trousers, this one.
Ducky: You feeling light-headed? I just nicked your brachial artery. You'll be dead in less than ninety seconds.
Godfrey: Having trouble breathing.
Ducky: Yes, that would be your dying of hypo-bulimic shock. The sweating and chest pains are normal. Seventy seconds.
Godfrey: You have to do something.
Ducky: No I don't. But if you tell me why my best friend is dead, I'll consider it. Sixty seconds.
Godfrey: We were running a prostitution ring out of Angus' hotel.
Margaret: My husband would never let you do that.
Godfrey: He didn't have a choice. We told him if he ratted us out we'd kill you. He was a sneaky one.
Ducky: Angus found out that you were also running a smuggling ring in the U.S. He tried to get the evidence to me. He hoped that NCIS would take you down. That you'd go to jail and never know who sent you there. Angus would be free. But it didn't quite work out that way, did it?
Godfrey: We found his email to Colpepper. Couldn't let him talk. That's all I know. Fix my arm already.
Ducky: No. No that's not all you know. You said we were running a prostitution ring. You're just an errand boy, a go-fer. Put in place to keep an eye on Angus. So who's really in charge? Is it someone you're willing to die for? If so, you're welcome to be my guest.

Margaret: I thought you hated bow ties.
Ducky: I do. They're impossible to keep straight.
Margaret: Why are you stlll---

Margaret: Why didn't you ever marry? You had so much love to give.
Ducky: A colleague and a very good friend of mine lost his soul mate. And then he nearly wrecked his life marrying the wrong woman over and over, trying to find her again. I chose to skip that part.

I can't believe I called the POTUS a wise-ass

Tony

Moore: I gotta ask you something.
Gibbs: No she's not married. She's not dating anybody.
Moore: How'd you know I--
Gibbs: A wild guess.

Vance: A week ago I go in for a physical, feeling fine. Now they want to run more tests.
Gibbs: Yeah? What's wrong?
Vance: The chest x-ray showed that there's spots on my lungs.
Gibbs: What's your doctor say about that?
Vance: He's waiting for the results of the CAT scan that I'm taking tomorrow. I'll know more then.
Gibbs: He give a guess?
Vance: Lymphoma. Advance stage. I'm scared, Gibbs.
Gibbs: Yeah. Anybody would be.

Tony: If you think about it, science is amazing. I mean video phone sex. You and Jake ever---
Bishop: Wow. You have no boundaries.
Tony: Come on, I'm messing with you.
Bishop: Did you miss the sexual harassment seminar?
Tony: Every year.

Hair tie. Women with long hair use them. I keep them everywhere. My house, car, desks throughout the office. I mean I'm constantly losing them. Wallace's wife has short hair, she wouldn't need them.

Bishop
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NCIS Quotes

You know what Tony is spelled backwards? Y not? Think about it

Tony

McGee: Gibbs would never leave you out of the loop on something like this.
Tony: He didn't.
Bishop: You knew? So why bother fighting with her?
Tony: She fights back. I have a type.

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