Jimmy: I mean, I guess I can see how some lawyer could use the confusion of an evacuation to call into question the chain of evidence, but, well, Autopsy *and* Abby’s lab have secure storage. These new rules clearly are written by some out-of-touch bean counter!
Bishop: I helped write the protocol when I was at NSA.
Jimmy: You used the words “evacuation” and “evidence” twice in the same sentence.

Bishop: So our intruder accidentally killed himself--
Abby: --with a pipe bomb--
Bishop: --on the roof of NCIS headquarters.

Bishop: So much junk, so little time.
Ducky: Junk, my dear Ellie, is in the eye of the beholder!

Torres: Why’d she call you and not me?
McGee: Well, she called *us*. But unlike you, I spend time at my desk.

Abby: I saw no moxie when she stayed at my place last night! She barely even spoke to me!
Jimmy: By any chance, did you have her sleep in your guest casket?
Abby: I do not have a guest *casket*, I have a guest *room*!

Kasie: It’s a long story. [beat] Too long. I was told not to waste your time.
Gibbs: Who told you that?
Kasie: Everybody. [Gibbs leaves the elevator.] The same ‘everybody’ that says you leave without saying goodbye!

Sloane: So, if this ‘one of a kind’ Viking war stick is in storage…
Abby: What is it doing here?

Bishop: Where to begin?
Gibbs: Probably with the one labeled ‘Viking War Stick.’

Bishop: Have we got our killer?
Gibbs: Nope. Just a liar.

Kasie, put on a lab coat, scrub up, and then by all means continue this suddenly *excruciating* conversation while you work *together*, but out of my purview.

Ducky

Sloane: I’m flattered, Gibbs! Finally made it to your Inner Sanctum.
Gibbs: It’s a basement.

I'm not even gonna ask about *that*.

Sloane [sees Gibbs' boat]

NCIS Quotes

I'm more of a Super-Mario guy, myself.

Captain Wescott

McGee: You and Zoe broke up?
Tony: You heard.
McGee: Why didn't you tell me?
Tony: Well the break-up bug's going around. Didn't want you to catch it.