Tony: I don't know what I was thinking. I should have never suggested working with Keates. That was not a good idea. I would like to invoke Rule #12: never date a co-worker.

Zoe: You've got to get your lies straight, DiNozzo.
Tony: DiNozzo. You've never gone surname on me before.
Zoe: You've never gone liar on me.

McGee: You guys tell Gibbs where you're going?
Tony: Well I'm senior agent and you're Mcnot. I can take the initiative.

Look at him down there. McGee in the role of black market gun buyer. It's the worst casting since Kevin Costner in Robin Hood.

Tony

Tony: Oh dad. We gotta talk.
Senior: Me first. I don't know what I was thinking. Of course I know what I was thinking. I was thinking about myself, because I'm selfish.
Tony: Dad--
Senior: Junior, listen. It's taken too long for me to realize that you have to live your own life. I want to be near you. And I'm going to be. But not in your building. You need your space.
Tony: I'd like to disagree with you. But I'm not going to, because you're right. Thanks.

McGee: Okay you're telling me that Ziva knew too?
Vance: Agent McGee, your ego is not the subject of this briefing.

Gibbs: What? Something wrong?
Abby: Not. At. All. Tony read me in. I heard the fantastic news that you matched DNA from the cold case airport bombing to a recent bomb in Colombia. That is awesome.
Gibbs: So?
Abby: So I'm thrilled you got someone to run DNA for you. Someone with a lab full of DNA-running equipment. I mean it must be so cool to know somebody like that.
Gibbs: Abby, it's not like that.
Abby: You cheated on me, Gibbs.

Palmer: I told Tony that you wanted to speak to Agent Gibbs, not that Gibbs ever actually speaks. After "what do you got, doc?" all I get is angry glare.
Tony: Hey Palmer.
Gibbs: Angry glare.

Tony: All right McGee, you've been pouting the whole car ride. Let's hear it.
McGee: Two years, huh?
Tony: I don't want to hear it.
McGee: You've been working on this op for two years and you never said anything.
Tony: Well, it was, what do you call it? Oh yeah. Classified.
McGee: Oh come on. How many times have I hacked classified data and shared it with you?
Tony: Forty-seven times.
McGee: Yeah, it's---you know what, that's probably right. But you prove my point.
Tony: Which is?
McGee: I can't trust you anymore.

McGee: How do I know you're not working on another secret op?
Tony: How do I know you're not working on another secret op? Are you working on another secret op? McGee.
McGee: Hurts, doesn't it?

Hankos: Do you think he's working with Orlando?
Gibbs: We're going to find out.
Hankos: If he is, no deals, no plea bargain. You make him pay. People may have forgotten the Metropolitan attack. I haven't.

Edmunds: In the meantime, what do I tell the Colombian ambassador?
Gibbs: You're a diplomat....
Vance: ....say something diplomatic.

NCIS Quotes

Abby: Have the bad things been outweighing the good things all these years and I just ever noticed?
McGee: What do you mean?
Abby: All I ever wanted was to help people with the truth. And I've done that, but then bad still won sometimes. And I just want to file it away, like it never happened so I can go back to being happy.
McGee: There's nothing wrong with that.
Abby: Yes there is McGee because sometimes the Cutwrights and the Dunns, they just keep fighting no matter what the truth is. And sometimes Ricki never gets to see her grandpa again. If the bad outweighs the good then that means that I'm not enough.
McGee: Abby listen to me...
Abby: And if I'm not enough, McGee, then why even try?

Abby: It's okay. Breena's fine. Breathe. Good. Now hurry up and get to the hospital because Breena is in labor.
McGee: Jimmy? Did you hear what she said? She just said Breena's having a baby. I think you broke him.