Chief Choi: Jones’s body, it’s gone!
Jimmy Palmer: This’ll complicate the autopsy

Jimmy Palmer: We just traveled about three hundred miles in 90 minutes!
Gibbs: Felt a lot longer to me!

Tagger: [spraypaints ‘FU’ on a sign, then hears a horse. He turns around to see a mounted police officer.]
Sgt. Dawson: Let me guess -- ‘FUN’? You like this place so much you just had to tell the world. I get it, I like it here, too!
Tagger: [runs away]

McGee: There’s an entire American sub-culture devoted to bone collecting.
Bishop: How do you know that?
Gibbs: He dated Abby!

Torres: Horses are not dogs, man.
Sgt. Dawson: You don’t miss a thing!

Nelson: My carbon footprint is very low.
Gibbs: Aside from smoking like a chimney.
Nelson: That’s the only reason I got busted.
McGee: You lit up in a public place, it’s against the law.
Nelson: Apparently, horses can smell prime kush for miles!

Gibbs: That’s a new lock!
Sgt. Dawson: About as secure as a screen door on a submarine.

Reeves: He liked me? The man said two things to me -- ‘Hello’ and then ‘Get out of the room.’ I’m pretty sure he thought I was the butler!
Torres: So did I, at first! Reeves, Jeeves. So confusing.
Reeves: That’s funny. I can also think of something that rhymes with 'Nick'!
Torres: 'Slick'?
Reeves: Try again!

So this is what it’ll be like when Abby gets a wax figure at Madame Tussauds!

Bishop

You and I know that life is a near-death experience.

Ducky

You did the wrong thing for the right reasons. Never do that again.

Gibbs

I can’t help unless you help yourself. Time to tear off that band-aid.

Gibbs

NCIS Quotes

[voiceover] Anyone can achieve their fullest potential, who we are might be predetermined, but the path we follow is always of our own choosing. We should never allow our fears or the expectations of others to set the frontiers of our destiny. Your destiny can't be changed but, it can be challenged. Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.

McGee

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.