Balthazar Kilmeany: Your mother's got quite a set of lungs on her.
Young Ducky: I *will* throw up on you.

Quinn: I mean, maybe it's a coincidence. [McGee and Gibbs give her a look.] Oh, oh, no. Nope. Rule 69. "No coincidences."
McGee: No, actually Number 69 is "Never trust a woman who doesn't trust her man."
Quinn: Huh? Wait, what?! Really? That... sounds a little misogynistic, don't you think? Huh? I mean, do you have a rule that says "Never trust a man who doesn't trust his woman"? Think about it! Huh? No? Think about it! Rule 51!
McGee [to Gibbs]: "Sometimes you're wrong"! [Gibbs smacks the back of McGee's head.]

Emily [regarding having a boyfriend]: And how old you need to be?
Fornell: A year older than you are, and every year it goes up by one!

Fornell: Hey, Gibbs! You gotta come over here and push down on my pelvis!
Gibbs: I'm gonna pass on that.

Fornell: What on earth are you doing?!
Emily: Me? What are *you* doing, Dad?
Fornell: I *was* sleeping!
Emily: I noticed. Still on Uncle Gibbs's couch for some reason.
Fornell: You nearly scared me to death. And "Uncle Gibbs" is probably upstairs loading his bazooka as we speak!
Gibbs [calmly eating cereal]: Nope. I'm good.

This is exactly how zombie movies start.

Torres [entering an empty lab]

Abby: They're Navy rats.
Reeves: Officers or enlisted?

This is a literal gutless rat!

Jimmy Palmer

Flemming: Director, it's *my* life.
Vance: And we're gonna protect it. [beat] You're welcome!

Bishop: Broken refrigerators are the *worst*!
Quinn: Almost as bad as *talking* about broken refrigerators.

Next time you leave the country on assignment, Bishop? Tell your brothers!

Gibbs

Fear often makes people do things they shouldn't. But that's human.

Qasim

NCIS Quotes

‘You think you’re alone in the dark. Close your eyes. Remember everything good.’ My mom said that to me just before she died. Smart lady.

Gibbs

I'm more of a Super-Mario guy, myself.

Captain Wescott