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Ncis

McGee: What do you get if you kick a dog? Trip to Hawaii?
Tony: Death by Abby.

Tony: Oui, oui, monsieur. Je suis very special Agent DiNozzo.
Ducky: The French do see arrogance as a virtue. So you'll be welcome there. But remember: in France, only tip 6%.

Abby: Sometimes I love my job. And sometimes I have to crawl inside a giant septic tank.
Gibbs: Well it could be worse.
Abby: How?
Gibbs: Well I could have to climb in there with you.

Tony: Are you flirting with me at a crime scene, Inspector?
Inspector Cheblis: No. Maybe, I don't know. Does it matter?
Tony: Your timing could be better.
Inspector: Maybe you're only uncomfortable because you're not used to being a witness.

Bishop: All we know for sure is that he went to college with Amanda Kendall. His murder could be a coincidence.
Gibbs: McGee.
McGee: Rule 39, Bishop.
Bishop: Right. No such thing as a coincidence. I knew that one.

Tony: And you're welcome, by the way.
Amanda: For what?
Tony: For saving your bony ass, Princess Leia.

Vance: If it were up to Admiral Kendall, he'd authorize Seal Team Six to exfil his daughter.
Gibbs: Well, one way to go.
Vance: I'm warming to the idea.

Tony: You know what I think? I think you're not some brain-dead little party girl. I think that all of this is an act. And I think you are some kind of spy, working for Amir and the Iranian government. Am I crazy?
Amanda: Half crazy, Tony. I am a spy. But Amir works for me, and I work for the same people you do.

Waters: You a Marine, Gibbs? This is one dumb jar-head covering for another.
Vance (to Gibbs via text): Tread lightly.

Major: You know what I think? This whole is just some inter-service rivalry.
Vance: You're wrong there, Major. NCIS is a civilian agency. We don't report to anyone in uniform. We will follow every possible lead, wherever it may take us. Get Waters over here, or we'll drag him in in handcuffs.

McGee: Aaah! God! What is that?
Christopher: Certified purified organic cat urine and body odor.

McGee: I'm not spending the night out here, Tony. I'm cold and I'm starving.
Tony: I'd say stop by the car, there's a slice of pizza left but we can't blow your cover, man.
McGee: I've been out here for hours and I've gotten nowhere. No one's seen him for days. They think he moved on.
Tony: Don't give up. Boy it's pretty toasty in this car.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 645 in total

NCIS Quotes

Boss, would you mind sitting with me?

McGee

Salim: [re: truth serum] It will not take long for it to start working.
Tony: You're gonna be dead soon, you know.

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