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NCIS quotes are a big reason to watch the show. The one-liners delivered by the characters in jest and the lightning-quick exchanges as they pertain to the cases make for terrific viewing.
Bishop: You don't have the change the subject. I'm not the sex police.
Tony: Kind of you are.
Bishop: Um, hello? I'm married. I have more sex than the two of you combined.
Tony: From what I hear that's not how that works.
- Permalink: From what I hear that's not how that works.
McGee: Your lab is working on laser technology?
Bishop: Next big stick in naval warfare.
Dr. Havana: These lasers aren't weaponized.
McGee: Data transfer?
Dr. Havana: Yes. Very good.
McGee: I read somewhere that NASA is sending data to the moon at 662 megabits per second. Word is that by using each color on the spectrum that transfer speed could be multiplied. John Hopkins. MIT
Bishop: Humble brag, much?
- Permalink: Humble brag, much?
SecNav: How do you do it? It's like pigs at the trough.
Gibbs: In some places it really is a trough.
- Permalink: In some places it really is a trough.
Pavlenko: Agent Gibbs. I was relieved to learn of your safe return after the helicopter accident.
Gibbs: It was no accident. It was a missile.
- Permalink: It was no accident. It was a missile.
SecNav: Director Vance, Special Agent Gibbs and DiNozzo, I'd like you to meet FBI Special Agent Pendergast. She will be your partner for the duration of this case.
Pendergast: Pleased to meet you.
Tony: Ah. Okay.
- Permalink: Ah. Okay.
Pendergast: Call me Leia
Tony: Like the Princess.
Pendergast: I hate Star Wars.
Tony: Nobody hates Star Wars.
Pendergast: You do when your name is Leia, Agent DiNozzo
- Permalink: You do when your name is Leia, Agent DiNozzo
Tony: Am I updating the FBI?
Gibbs: No, no not yet.
Tony: Got it. And if Leia asks?
Gibbs: Geeze, DiNozzo. Make something up. She's your girlfriend.
Tony: Why - did she say something? Did she mention me by name?
- Permalink: Why - did she say something? Did she mention me by name?
You know what Tony is spelled backwards? Y not? Think about itTony
- Permalink: You know what Tony is spelled backwards? Y not? Think about it
McGee: Gibbs would never leave you out of the loop on something like this.
Tony: He didn't.
Bishop: You knew? So why bother fighting with her?
Tony: She fights back. I have a type.
- Permalink: She fights back. I have a type.
Abby: So I can date him?
McGee: Absolutely not. You don't know a thing about this guy. Aside from this totally comprehensive background check.
McGee - it's the overprotective big brother routine that's getting old.Gibbs
- Permalink: McGee - it's the overprotective big brother routine that's getting old.
Ducky: What happens when frogs park illegally?
Palmer: They get towed
- Permalink: They get towed