Torres [on dating]: And I *do* know what it’s like out there, Bishop. It’s no easier for a handsome guy. Believe me.
Bishop: Yeah, I believe that you *believe* that, but I’d believe you’d be *wrong*!
McGee [shakes his head]: Unbelievable.

Torres: How did it go with Sloane and your friend?
McGee: Well, good morning to you, too, Gossip Girl.

Sloane [McGee has left in a hurry]: Yep, he knows.
Vance: Well, at least he was nice enough to lie.

Kasie [about Gibbs]: He *always* follows orders?
Ducky: Always. [beat] Ish.

Sloane: Once he’s dead, I’ll feel a whole lot better.
Gibbs [softly]: I doubt that.
Sloane: What are you talking about?
Gibbs: My wife’s birthday was yesterday. Shannon. She and my daughter, Kelly, they were killed together. The man who did that, I hunted him down and I shot him in the head. And I really thought that would ease the ache in my heart. Nope. Not to this day. And you’re the only one I’ve told.

Gibbs: What’s your favorite drink?
Kasie: Rum and Coke!
Gibbs: At work!
Kasie: Oh, *not* Rum and Coke!

Bishop: Sorry about your wall.
Sloane: Never been a fan of Cheeto-dusted orange, anyway.

Torres: It wouldn’t be the first time that someone wants to kill their landlord.
McGee: You have proof, or you speaking from personal experience?
Torres: Personal experience.
McGee: Oof.

  • Permalink: Oof.
  • Added:

Brooks: You wanna chime in?
Gibbs: Nope. Still waitin’.
Brooks: For?
Gibbs: The reason you are down here!
Brooks: Just told you! Somebody wants me dead.
Gibbs: Who?!
Brooks: I don’t know! That’s why *you’re* here!
Gibbs: No, it’s *not*, Phil! It’s not! I am here for your *memorial*!
Brooks: What!? It’s only been a few days!
Gibbs [in disbelief]: SIX! It’s been SIX DAYS, Phil!

Vance: Well, what is your professional opinion, Jack?
Sloane: Honestly, I’m stumped. Gibbs has the best poker face I’ve ever seen. It’s like trying to read a statue.

Losing anyone you know is always difficult. But all we can do now is our jobs.

Ducky

Oh, come on. This is the indomitable Abby Scuito we’re talking about. I don’t care what the odds are. You can never count her out.

Jimmy

NCIS Quotes

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.

Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.