NCIS quotes are a big reason to watch the show. The one-liners delivered by the characters in jest and the lightning-quick exchanges as they pertain to the cases make for terrific viewing.

McGee: Sometimes I think you prefer being alone.
Tony: We all have to live with our decisions, Tim.

[reading Valentine's Day card] Roses are red; they go in a bucket; Jake is a jerk; he can go suck it.

Bishop

Tony: Gibbs, I don't think Abby's heart cakes are edible.
Gibbs: They're tofu, DiNozzo. You keep chewing.

Tony: Remember Max Headroom, Gibbs?
Gibbs: Who?
Tony: From the 80s. Robot-head.

Grossman: Conveniently, I was born without empathy. With regard to Senior Chief De La Rosa's unfortunate passing, I reviewed the video and there was no proof he died of anything other the complications due to his own line of work. Secondly, even if there were foul play, there is no link between his death and our mission.
Gibbs: What is your mission?
Grossman: Our mission is classified.

Maria: I would never leave my husband. I was raised Catholic, Agent Gibbs. My marriage was sacred.
Gibbs: You've got a funny way of showing it.

Gibbs: You know, there's a small percentage of people who can't eat anything processed red. Allergies. Gives them rashes, Meredith. Like that rash you have right there, Meredith. You must have touched something red recently, huh? Like a vial of red liquid cocaine? Found those inside the PPAs your divers positioned on the ocean floor. There's 200 of them. That's a whole lot of drug money.
Grossman: It's inadmissible garbage. Doesn't make any sense. Where would Meredith get narcotics like that?
Gibbs: She didn't. She had a partner, who's being arrested as we speak. In 2010, you represented the Suarez Cartel. Their signature product was liquid cocaine. Last month you had a meeting in Cartagena. We've been tracking your pre-positioned asset. Last night it was called to the surface and loaded onto a Columbian trailer. The DEA raided it.
Meredith: You dumb ass!
Grossman: Shut up, Merry.
Gibbs: No, Jerry. You shut up.

I'm confused. Are you having trouble building a case against me? Do you need the Navy's help?

Katz

Dacey: My night crew won't be in for a few hours, but you guys are welcome to stick around. Actually, it's 90s night, in case you guys want to re-live some of your glory days later.
McGee: Excuse me?
Tony: Glory days?
Dacey: Yeah. Show off some of those old dance moves. Little "Can't Touch This."

Adam: I never have pegged you for the type, Ellie.
Bishop: The type?
Adam: Ah, you know. Trade in your stats and your snacks for a badge and a gun.

Tony: We were hoping, Tiffany, that you could...
Tiffany: Trace this to a particular buyer.
Tony: Good guess!
Tiffany: You're cops. This is evidence. Duh.

Palmer: It goes without saying but, this kind of stuff effects me a lot more since become a father.
Bishop: I'm sure it does.
Palmer: I mean with this kind of evil in the world.... People who will do this kind of...How am I supposed to let Victoria leave the house.
Bishop: Pretty sure she'll leave the house eventually, whether you let her or not.

NCIS quotes are not to be missed. The crime solving is great and all, but the one-liners from the characters - and Tony's movie quotes, and Gibbs' one-word zingers - are often some of the most memorable parts of a given episode. Be it simple or profound, the show has a way of amping up the drama when it matters most and using levity to keep things grounded. NCIS quotes cover the full spectrum and then some.

NCIS Quotes

Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.