Smitty [caught committing a crime]: I was just, uh…
Torres: What? Sleepwalking?

Awkward silences make me uncomfortable, so I’m just gonna keep on talking!


Are those your house keys she just gave you?


Sloane: You’re gonna leave a complete stranger alone in your house.
Gibbs: Yes.
Sloane: I could rob you blind.
Gibbs: Lock up when you’re done.

Sloane: Ah, I can see you’re a glass half full kind of guy!
Gibbs: Depends. What’s in the glass?

Jimmy: Oh! Am I interrupting?
Gibbs: Nope. You’re right on time.
Jimmy: That’s unusual.

So, were you crooked? Or just bad at your job?


Sportelli: Ever wish you weren’t the boss, Gibbs? I thought I was getting a promotion. Instead I got everyone else’s problems.
Gibbs: Our job’s to fix ‘em.
Sportelli: Exactly. But what if we can’t?

If you listen, the dead *will* speak.


Bishop [on a missing detective seen meeting a woman]: Is that… a booty call?!
Torres: Y’know, I could almost forgive that…

Hey, Jimmy. Did I miss ‘Bring Your Pallet to Work’ Day?


Look at that! It’s not just a pen, it’s a Frisbee!


NCIS Quotes

I'm more of a Super-Mario guy, myself.

Captain Wescott

Worry’s a bully. It gives you nothing. It only takes.

Grace Confalone