The world isn’t all zeros and ones. You can’t reduce love to a binary code.

Qasim

Bishop: I’m not afraid of Gibbs.
Reeves: Well, actually, *I’m* afraid of him.

Reeves: I found Chen’s courier.
Bishop: So... you... jumped in your Winnebago to come tell me?
Reeves: No! I jumped in *his*.

Just makin’ sure you were paying attention…

Gibbs [on pickpocketing Torres]

See, you have *fought* terror. Who better to create it?

Earl Goddard

Abby: Is this an order?
Vance: Yes! Go be a bad guy!

What the hell! Your *fake* bomb just made a *real* explosion!

Cop

Abby: This is my nightmare! The only thing missing is Vance riding in on demon wings to fire me!
Torres: Well, that makes sense.
Abby: I usually wake up when his mustache turns into a snake.

Torres: Are these suits really necessary?
Gibbs: Yes.
Ducky: Unless you want to risk instantaneous death due to sarin.
Torres: These suits are awesome.

Well, you say ‘tomato,’ I say ‘terrorist.’

Torres

Reeves: We spoke to your wife. She said you were at the office all night.
Gibbs: No nookie!

DiNozzo Senior [in the bath with Judith]: Gibbs! Forgive me for not getting up…
Judith McKnight: Oh, trust me, he’s *already* up.

NCIS Quotes

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.

‘You think you’re alone in the dark. Close your eyes. Remember everything good.’ My mom said that to me just before she died. Smart lady.

Gibbs