NCIS

Tuesdays 8:00 PM on CBS
Ncis
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NCIS quotes are a big reason to watch the show. The one-liners delivered by the characters in jest and the lightning-quick exchanges as they pertain to the cases make for terrific viewing.

Bishop: It's just....I did everything right. I mean, I was textbook. How can I fail?
McGee: Everybody fails. It's the Kobayashi Maru.

Meyer: I'm sorry, I feel like we're not on the same page. What's this about?
Gibbs: Joe Willis - he's your security officer?
Meyer: He in some kind of trouble?
Gibbs: Yeah, you could say that.
Meyer: Holy crap.
Borin: We on the same page now?

Gibbs: You and me need to talk. Alone. Hey - it's not a request. Petty Officer remove this man from the radio room. This radio's been sabotaged.
Meyer: Holy--
Gibbs: Stop.
Meyer: I have no--
Gibbs: Don't. Busted radio. Dead security officer. Wounded captain and him.
Meyer: Reynaldo? He--
Gibbs: He's wearing canvas shoes, not steel-toed boots. Who is he? Because he is not part of your crew.

Tony: Now look. Gibbs isn't there, me neither. Listen, McGee - you're the boss now.
McGee: Me? Whoa, whoa. Tony....
Tony: Don't mess it up.

Abby: Gosh I just got chills.
McGee: Why is that?
Abby: You're just changing, right in front of our eyes. Your gruff manner, your clipped replies. You're no longer McGee. You're McGibbs.
McGee: What? That's....wait, what?
Bishop: It's true. Ever since Tony put you in charge, you're like...channeling him.
McGee: Stop it.
Abby: You got it. Boss.

McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.

Bishop: You don't have the change the subject. I'm not the sex police.
Tony: Kind of you are.
Bishop: Um, hello? I'm married. I have more sex than the two of you combined.
Tony: From what I hear that's not how that works.

McGee: Your lab is working on laser technology?
Bishop: Next big stick in naval warfare.
Dr. Havana: These lasers aren't weaponized.
McGee: Data transfer?
Dr. Havana: Yes. Very good.
McGee: I read somewhere that NASA is sending data to the moon at 662 megabits per second. Word is that by using each color on the spectrum that transfer speed could be multiplied. John Hopkins. MIT
Bishop: Humble brag, much?

SecNav: How do you do it? It's like pigs at the trough.
Gibbs: In some places it really is a trough.

Pavlenko: Agent Gibbs. I was relieved to learn of your safe return after the helicopter accident.
Gibbs: It was no accident. It was a missile.

SecNav: Director Vance, Special Agent Gibbs and DiNozzo, I'd like you to meet FBI Special Agent Pendergast. She will be your partner for the duration of this case.
Pendergast: Pleased to meet you.
Tony: Ah. Okay.

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Pendergast: Call me Leia
Tony: Like the Princess.
Pendergast: I hate Star Wars.
Tony: Nobody hates Star Wars.
Pendergast: You do when your name is Leia, Agent DiNozzo

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 683 in total
NCIS quotes are not to be missed. The crime solving is great and all, but the one-liners from the characters - and Tony's movie quotes, and Gibbs' one-word zingers - are often some of the most memorable parts of a given episode. Be it simple or profound, the show has a way of amping up the drama when it matters most and using levity to keep things grounded. NCIS quotes cover the full spectrum and then some.

NCIS Quotes

McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.

Bishop: It's just....I did everything right. I mean, I was textbook. How can I fail?
McGee: Everybody fails. It's the Kobayashi Maru.

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