Gibbs: Side door was open.
Fornell: After you picked the lock?

Couples therapy is not in my job description.

Vance [regarding Gibbs and Fornell]

Gibbs: Tobias, stay!
Fornell: I’m not your poodle, Gibbs!

McGee, you’re like this giant hamster on this giant guilt wheel! You have to get off of it!

Abby

Gibbs [enters in a hurry]: He’s right behind me, and you gotta say no!
Vance [confused]: Say no to what?
Fornell [enters leisurely]: Director! It’s good to see you.

Gibbs: Tobias? What the hell’s going on?
Fornell: What’s going on? You got me fired!

Vance: Sometimes I like to *eat* my meal, not *sip* it.
Kayla: Diner food isn’t a meal!

Kayla: I made a mistake.
Vance: No, a mistake is when you step on the accelerator instead of the brakes. You made a--
Both: Bad choice.

So, my little girl is a thief. Not a good look for the head of a federal agency.

Vance

Maya: Can we do this [questioning] after practice?
Torres: We don’t make appointments.

Welcome to the uncomfortable room with the one-way mirror.

Gibbs

This is one of the obligations of the job… I will never feel comfortable with.

Gibbs [about notification of the suicide]