NCIS quotes are a big reason to watch the show. The one-liners delivered by the characters in jest and the lightning-quick exchanges as they pertain to the cases make for terrific viewing.
Suffering the consequences of the rules is like being sent to your room without dinner. You know dad when you did that, mom always brought me a grilled ham and cheese twenty minutes later.McGee
- Permalink: McGee's mom was a pushover.
Heidi: Those are sorry excuses for personal computers. Nice monitors.
McGee: They're government issued.
Heidi: By the First Continental Congress?
- Permalink: Dinosaur monitors are good enough for McGee.
It just occurred to me that rules number 3, 8, 36 and 40 are the same thing. With two rule number 1s and two number 3s I'm starting to question that these are honest mistakes. Is Gibbs making up these rules as he goes? Do all parents?McGee
McGee: Boss can you give that to someone else? I can't take it anymore. I said from the beginning that this wasn't going to work. It's a waste of time. These guys are criminals, they're not worth it.
Gibbs: McGee. Rule 51
McGee: 51? What...?
Gibbs: I wrote it down once.
- Permalink: Rule 51 - Sometimes you're wrong.
Tony: Notice anything different McGee? We installed the new computer monitors.
McGee: You touched my desk?
Tony: It was their idea.
Kevin: We wanted to thank you.
Khan: No we--don't say that out loud.
McGee: No no no, this monitor should be more to the left.
Tony: Okay let's go to the van. Nobody needs to see this part of Tim McGee. C'mon IT Kevin.
McGee: Come on. Didn't even bundle all the cables.
- Permalink: McGee gets new monitors.
Every moment with you from growing up to these last few days. It meant something to me. It takes a man to make a man. You've helped make me one. Before I say goodbye dad, I just want to say thank you for everything. Merry Christmas dad. I love you.McGee
- Permalink: McGee says goodbye.
Jake: Agent DiNozzo, I presume?
Tony: The elusive Jake. It's nice to know Bishop hasn't been catfishing us all year. I was starting to wonder.
Bishop: Well you can stop wondering, Tony. As you can see, Jake is quite real.
Tony: Unless he's a hologram who can shake hands.
Jake: NSA is actually working on one of those, I've seen the prototype.
Tony: Yeah that'd be pretty fun. Really?
Tony: Had me, for a second. That's too bad, because I'd like one of those. I like him, he's quick.
- Permalink: Tony meets Bishop's better half
Bishop: Excuse me. Hey, I said excuse me.
Jake: Is there a problem, sir?
Murderer: I don't know, is there?
Jake: I heard my wife say "excuse me", just now. Doesn't that get an "excuse me" in return?
Bishop: It's all right. Some people just have better manners than others.
Dobbs: It's okay, miss. Your husband's right. My bad.
- Permalink: No excuse.
Tony: I hate couples.
Bishop: You asked how we met.
Jake: Granted, you kind of had to be there.
Tony: Oh no, not you guys. You're great. Just couples in general.
- Permalink: Nothing personal.
Palmer: Well there's Dirk, if it's a boy obviously. Or Oskar, with a "K".
Abby: Oskar Palmer. It's a lot of "Rs".
Palmer: If it's a girl, we're thinking Frieda, Greta, Liesl. Something von Trappish.
- Permalink: How about Ishmael?
Bishop: His gun's gone, Tony.
Tony: Great. We're snowed in here with an airport filled with cranky passengers, a dead fake Air Marshall and his killer on the loose somewhere on the loose with a knife and a gun. Anybody else feel like they're playing Clue?
- Permalink: Mr. Mustard in the library room with the candlestick
Tony: Maybe that's why we never see Jake. Maybe she ate him.
Bishop: Or maybe he's just busy.
Tony: Or maybe you had him with fava beans, and a nice Chianti
- Permalink: Tony channels Hannibal