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Modern-family

Cam: I'm playing a drinking game. It's called everytime I feel depressed about something, I take a drink.
Mitchell: That's already a game. It's called alcoholism.

Isn't it enough this family spends a lot of time together? Now we have to inbreed?

Jay

It's a freakshow, but it's their freakshow.

Gloria

Stop acting like I'm some staunchy old coot! I've grown.

Jay

You're going to have Cam's baby just to avoid it being weird?

Phil [to Claire]

And what are we supposed to tell the baby? Say hi to your Aunt Mommy!

Mitchell

I think we're all having a baby!

Phil

Sometimes I worry nobody's going to like Alex.

Claire

I can't express to you how badly this kid needs football.

Jay [about Manny]

My wife took 50% of my stuff and left 100% of my kids.

Ted

Good to see you Betty Luke.

Phil [to Luke]

I know it's stupid, but it's nice to know that sometimes you'll fight for me and all I have to do is laugh at some other guy's story.

Claire
Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 233 in total

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Modern Family Season 3 Quotes

Look I'm the horse whisperer but something is making this one skittish!

Gloria [screaming]

Cam: You hate her sparkly outfit, don't you?
Mitchell: No I told you it was fine, I just didn't like you wearing a matching one.

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