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Mitchell: Oh my God, there's Sandy.
Cam: Sandra Bullock?
Mitchell: Yeah we're such good friends, I just call her Sandy.

I don't wanna be around when something that tight unravels.


You dated a Dottie after Dede?


Mitzi: Your kid forgot his cereal. There's a surprise in every box. Spoiler alert: it's diabetes!

Jay we use this to get tables at restaurants, why can't we use it to get Manny a friend?

Gloria [about her body]

Haven't you ever seen an NBA game? Oh in your case I mean the WNBA.

Mitzi [to Phil]

We were great together, we spoke each other's language, we finished each other's balloon animals.


The librarian told me that one day I'll be a great catch.


I'm like a boxer before a fight, that's why I didn't have sex with Claire last night.

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