You can't get fired from a favor!


This will all be over in 90 seconds. Hold you poses, I really want to impress Mister Gorgeous.


You don't know terror until you have to stare down the eyes of a Missouri state trooper and talk your way out of a PUI.


So you're married to Jay, where'd you tie up that seeing eye dog?

Maxine [to Gloria]

I've been fired, everyone has.


I haven't felt so nervous since I tried to break up with Claire 20 years ago.


Claire: I say no everyday in this house.
Phil: But at night she's a yes machine.
Claire: No.

Dad we can always find cool stuff to do. Even if you're old in a wheelchair, I'll take you to the mall and push you as fast as you wanna go.


I remember thinking, I can't save you buddy, but I'm getting off this ride.


Your rebel boyfriend is a Dapper Dan!

Claire [to Haley]

I haven't been judged by this many people since I forgot my canvas bags at Whole Foods.


Jay: Tired of walking in those heels?
Gloria: No, tired of having a hot wife?

Modern Family Season 3 Quotes

Cam: I'm playing a drinking game. It's called everytime I feel depressed about something, I take a drink.
Mitchell: That's already a game. It's called alcoholism.

Look I'm the horse whisperer but something is making this one skittish!

Gloria [screaming]